Skinwalker

I sat on the bed for a while, trying to process what had just happened. With my fear and sadness I had not noticed the strange urges building with me.
Mating season?
I stand, begin to pace. I had not experienced a mating season before, had never 'come into heat' as such. I was aware of them though, of the effect they had. Lee didn't want to be around me, wanted to control himself, I could relate to that. But at the same time, I want to show him that I'm not afraid of him, not like I am with other people. A part of me had enjoyed what had just been happening, a part of me that was growing stronger... I think of him downstairs, of his lips upon mine and it makes me shiver - not with fear, but with a strange pleasure.
Is this what he's going through? Is this the mating urge? Damn... I want... What do I want? Him... I think. But, if I go to him now, what if he or I regret it later?

My pacing continues. The feelings, the urges within me, grow stronger. With them, frustration. I begin to huff, run a hand through my hair, over my face. I sit, only to stand again moments later. I feel tense, agitated. I can't control it.
I have to get out.
I exit the bedroom, hurry down the stairs to the front door, reach for the handle. His scent reaches me. I pause, pupils dilating, nostrils flaring. Turning quickly on the spot I stride towards the study and let myself in. Lee looks up, surprise and confusion pass across his features as he sees me walking toward him.
"Eiri? What are yo...?
I put a finger to his lips, silencing him. Without a word I sit myself upon his lap, legs either side of his waist.
"I'm not afraid of you Lee. I won't leave you."
I pause for a few moments, my fingers running lightly through his hair as I look into his eyes. Finally, I lean forward and kiss him. I feel hands upon my waist and Lee returning my kiss, I moan ever so slightly. But I suddenly remember how he had left the bedroom, concerned about his actions so, managing to control myself for a moment, I pull back from him and whisper,
"Do you want to continue this? I can... leave if it's not appropriate."

(Sorry Sky )

It was kind of strange to see Lex behave this way, but perhaps what was stranger to me was my sudden inclination to join in. Upon reflection, I would've though I'd be disappointed with myself, but actually, I felt happy. I was allowed to be young again, after all this time trying to be wise. During my travels, the concept of 'playing' and having 'playmates' had escaped from the shackles of my mind.

I was smiling a lot more by the end of it. As Lex rolled around the bank, gently padding at my snout with glee, I titled my head at her. It was nice to see Lex so carefree.

I shook myself dry, accidentally splashing Lex a little (though I don't think she minded too much; we were both enjoying ourselves too much), and then I felt my body flare up again. I tried to hide it, perhaps in vain, from my feminine associate. I was restless yet again, driving me to pace back and forth along the riverbank. I was panting again, and I was positive that Lex knew it wasn't because I was tired. I drunk some water to try and cool down again, but it wasn't working, so I grunted and walked up the bank, laying down on a patch of grass nearby. Frustration could be so bothersome.

Lex must've noticed there was an issue, but in my vanity, I smiled again, trying to veil the issue. It seemed I was struggling more than usual to hide my thoughts and... instincts. Instinct was something I had tried to suppress during my wanderings, instead attempting to plan ahead with everything using rational thought and multiple perspectives. Easy to do on the road... not so easy while in 'heat'.

I addressed Lex, almost to her shock. "Thank you... for everything. For taking me in, showing me the ropes... accepting me." My eyes gleamed with joy in the sunlight.

Finally stop thanking. There are so many coming here every month, if everyone would have kept thanking me till today, I wouldnt even went to sleep anymore! Haha!
I turned around and put myself flat on the ground. I sniffed a bit on the ground and shook around a bit, still funny feeling. I didnt even knew I had a playful instinct before I jumped directly from lying there, over to Talvi to crash into him and roll over him, himself too through my weight. I kept on snapping funny around, ended up laying directly besides Talvi chewing in his neck a bit.
It felt like my brain was off while this time, when I just went for my instincts which told me to be a happy and soft wolf lady, interacting with Talvi.

I smiled. "An I was afraid, that you don't want to." I put my arms around her shoulders, pulling her nearer, kissing her, loving the feeling of her in my arms, her body on mine.
I moved up her shirt again, now taking it off and took off mine too. We rolled about on the couch. One time I was over her, one time she was over me. It was amazing. We took off all our clothes, feeling the warmth of our bodys, the sweat dripping down our skin.
I felt like flying as we united and we had the greatest night of our lives.

---

I woke up in the morning, Eiri was still laying in my arms. We were still naked. "Good morning." I kissed her on her forehead. She grumbled. Really not a morning-person. I smiled and left the couch. I dressed and made my way to the village. I found the market and bought something to eat. I really was hungry, I was already the day before and after the night I was even more hungry. I bought different things, fruits, bread, cheese, meat, and carried everything back to my house.
Eiri was still sleeping, so I had enough time to prepare the breakfast. When I was finished I went over to the study room and kissed my sleeping jaguar. She opened her eyes, still tired, but satisfied. I leaded her to the kitchen and we set down to have breakfast. After we had eaten some, I decided it was time to talk. "Eiri, it really meant something to me what happened last night. I guess... I love you. I don't know if you feel the same, but..." I looked into her eyes and didn't know what to see there.

While Lee and I ate breakfast I allowed my thoughts to wander. It allowed me to think about the previous night. I wasn't really sure how to feel; during our union I had not worried about my body, I had only cared about him, how good he made me feel, now, those insecurities were returning. He had told me not to worry about my scars, but it was hard... His voice brought my attention back to the present.
"Eiri, it really meant something to me what happened last night. I guess... I love you. I don't know if you feel the same, but..."
I looked up, staring at his face, trying to read his expression, his emotions. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, lash out. No one had ever told me they loved me before, it invoked a strong, confusing reaction in me, one I didn't know how to deal with. I stared at him for a long time, until worry began to cloud his face, at which point I managed to smile. I tried to keep my voice level, so as not to bely my inner emotional turmoil.
"Lee... You have been so kind to me, even though I've been difficult. Last night, it meant a lot to me too. I... well I've never... been with someone before. I mean I've never... You know...."
I feel my cheeks redden. Truth is, before Lee I'd never even kissed anyone, this was all new territory to me.

Lowering my gaze, I'm able to speak again.
"I feel strongly for you, I just don't know if I can say those words yet... This is all so new to me."
I look at my hands, knitting my fingers together. I wonder if I should say something more, but I can't make any more words form. So instead I wait.

As Lex pounced me, I felt myself go topsy-turvy, until we finally came to rest. As she nibbled at my neck, I couldn't help but whimper at the tickling sensation it provoked, leaving me feeling rather warm and fuzzy on the inside, something I had not felt in a very long time. It was a nice reminder that I was still indeed alive on the inside.

As a cutesy retaliation to Lex's playful gnawing, I gently padded at her, pushing at her gently before licking her face. I was enjoying this less serious mood we were sharing.

My heart started to flutter a little, almost to the point where it skipped a beat. The 'heat' was returning again very quickly now that we were less than a foot away from each other. I started to pant uncontrollably, and this time I was groaning quietly. Oh dear, I need to pull myself together...

I nuzzled her face appreciatively, before sitting up and taking a breath. I really, really needed to calm down. For my own peace of mind, and for Lex's sake. I'd just been welcomed to this wonderful pack, so it'd be stupid to let an emotional 'phase' disrupt that, or perhaps ruin it for good. Besides, if that horny beta was any sort of reference, then Lex would most likely kick my ass. I drooped my ears in shame. Having fun was one thing; letting mischief get the better of me was another entirely. I didn't want to offend Lex, however, by simply upping and strutting off elsewhere. She was wonderful company. So I just crossed my paws, rested my head on them, and lay silently, tail wagging.

I snapped a bit more in his fur, did a few hyped movements here and there and then layd down my head too. I felt asleep for a midday nap, then woke up at afternoon. When I woke up, Talvi was at the water and took a drink. I lifted myself up, stretched a bit and shook my fur. When I moved to get a last drink too, I noticed how weird I must have been, acting like a kid. I didnt spoke one word, tried to look as proud and mighty as hell, took a drink and stood up again.
We have to go on now. Lets move it, I want to be back tonight. I bet Choey will wait there as always after a border control, having them all collected.
Choey? Collected who?
I will tell you tonight. Now lets get going. And so we did... we went on and walked the whole way till the "end" of the border, the spot where we started. It was Lees house, where he and Eiri just stepped out. They waved with their hands, showing they seen us, so I shouted over to them.
Hei there you two! Come to the forest in 3 hours, there will be something special we have after each border patrol. See you there!
I looked at my right where Talvi was.
For you, you can go home now. Or... you know find a room in the hotel. I will go home now and tonigh we will meet up at the forest middle. I jumped off and left him behind, kind of clueless what to do.

When I came to my house finally, I switched back, opened the door and went in. I putted some stuff back, and had a shower. When I just came out and clothed myself again, the door opened and Chuck came in. When he saw me he boldly smiled, rushed forward and grabbed me, lifted me and swung me around before putting me down again and kissing me long. When he let go, he again smiled boldly and I just had to smile back. It was such a joy, knowing there was someone who misses you when you are gone. I told him a bit about the long walk, also about the city and then showed him what I got for him.
You bought me a gift? You dont think your freshed up look is enough to me... he said with some funny sound and playd in my fresh dreads.
Hehe, I saw it and thought you might like it. Here...
I showed him the necklace with the small silver wolf on its end. He stared at it for a while, then without asking bound it around his neck. He hugged me once more, then I told him there was a special meeting in the night. And he wanted to go with me...
There was no way of hiding my human boyfriend to the other walkers, so I took him with me.
When we reached the meeting place, everyone was as humans, sitting around and waiting. Also all the new ones where there... and one new face. A blonde girl. She had something in her eyes, I didnt like. I left Chuck for a moment, moving over to her.
N who are you? I said with some growly sound. She looked at me from feet to head.
Why would you care? Who are you talking to me like that?
"Melissa!" Hefray hissed at her. "Thats the leader, Alexa. Be a bit more respectful!"
Oh Im sorry I couldnt see the leader in her right away! I mean look how small she even is?!
You know I can hear you?! Watch your mouth girl! She again looked at me, spotted the scars on arms and face and got silent again, her face a bit more neutral than before.
Thats better. Strangers are welcome, as long as they dont make trouble. I guess Hefray knows you, when talking to you like that. So.
I turned around and went back to Chuck who received some views. The message of the human who knew about the walkers and was still alive, had gone through the whole forest even before I came back from patrol. I even spotted Damon in behind. I just went on, found my place on the rocks and lifted my voice.
Thanks for coming here my friends! The most of you already know whats going on. For the ones who dont, tonight we will celebrate our special given nature and instincts. But my old friend Choey here, will tell you more. I stepped aside to let the oldest left skinwalker at my side of the rock, Chuck sitting on my other side.
The old man, came as a big darkbrown bear to us, his snout already grey, then he switched to human and let himself down. Then he spoke with his deep, wise voice.
"No matter where we were born, no matter who raised us. No matter what friends we had, what we learned or how we live. It doesnt matter, we are all the same in the inner. As skinwalkers we are like one family. We walk in the same skys when we are gone, and we have the same inner voice that tells us what to do. And Im not just talking of voices that tell you to mate!" People laughed a moment, they all allready knew what time it was.
"No, we all follow a call. And the voice in us, speaks a language. We dont have a name for it, but there is one song. You havent heard it even once in your life, not even when you have been in your mothers belly. But you know it. And you can sing it. Its a song in the skinwalkers language, about our past, present and future. How we are, and what we live for. You will be able to sing it. Some of you might be new, but if you can feel it, then let it out and sing. Dont be scared to get a wrong sound, your inner voice will tell you how it´s done."
Now Choey pulled his guitar behind his back, the new ones already looked a bit unsure and confused. The small fire in the centre was giving some lovely light, when Choey began to play. All where silent, listened to the sounds, but he wouldnt sing. For that, I started singing. First I did in the normal language, then I went over to the skinwalkers language. Some looked even more confused of the weird sounds and words, but then the first few jumped in and sang with me. And there where getting more and more. And then more there where, especially of the new ones who wouldnt know the song but sung it, than more it had a magical feeling.

( I thought of something like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDCJM8DsWA&list=FLcDcx48_GiCX5ie_Qr706rw Just with different text of course =P )

I remained quiet. I didn't felt like singing. I still thought about Eiris words in the morning and how much they hurt me. Everytime I opened up to someone I got hurt. I sighed. The others were singing, but I just couldn't. I looked over to Melissa. Just seconds later she turned to me, still singing. I sat down in the gras. She came over to me, sittin down next to me. "Hey, what's up?" She whispered. "I don't know. This is just...complicated." "Oh, love-problems, eh?" I nodded. "Oh come on, this will go by. Look at her." She pointed to Eiri. "She's smiling all the time, enjoying herself. Why aren't you enjoying yorself too?" I sighed. "I enjoied myself yesterday night. I just forgot how Hefray..." "Melissa, I don't wanna here about that." But I began to laugh, she always made laugh. "Thanks." I stood up, walking over to Eiri and began to sing too.
When the singing was over, some of the other skinwalkers went home, some still remained at the meeting place. Hefray turned to the village again, Melissa talked to some other skinwalkers, hoping to find a place to stay for the night. Atleast she would stay with Hefray again, but then she found the new firesoul. I giggled. Boy, don't mess with the devil. I touched Eiris arm. She still carried the bracelet. "I'll go home now. If you like, you can sleep in my house again. It's up to you."

I did not know I could make a sound like that, it surprised me. I'd never really sung before and when I had, it would be quiet, possibly just humming. Now I'd had a chance to truly listen to my voice. I liked it. The sounds of everyone singing around me, it had been uplifting, made me feel happy. Even when the singing finished I just remained sat on the grass, my eyes closed. I didn't open them until I felt the touch of someone's hand upon my arm and I turned to see Lee. Since this morning he had seemed more distant. I felt my words this morning had hurt him, though I had not meant them to, I knew I had feelings for him, I just didn't know if I could express them to him. When he explained I could stay in his house again this evening I nodded and smiled. For a moment I hesitated, before leaning up and giving him a kiss on the cheek. As I stepped back from him I knew there was another blush upon my cheeks.
"Thank you Lee. I'll be there in a bit, I just want to go for a run first."
I smiled again, taking a few paces back from him before I changed to jaguar form. Putting my head under his palm, I nuzzled his hand for a moment, before bounding off into the woods. A few of the remaining skinwalkers turned to watch me leave, but soon returned to what the had been doing previously.

I ran at a steady pace for a little while, large paws thumping rhythmically against the forest floor. As I slowed to a quick walk I tried to figure out how to stop Lee from hurting;
Is it because I didn't say I loved him back?
As I ran my feelings over in my mind, I figured I felt the same way about him that he did about me, the problem was, I didn't think I could actually say those words. They carried something of a weight for me, if I said them, I would be opening myself to him, with that, came the potential for hurt. But then, I'd been running from pain most of my life, was I just being a coward? As I continued to thread my way through the forest, I continued to mull in my thoughts. It wasn't until we were only a few feet from each other that I noticed him. Damon stood before me in wolf form. We stared at each other, both completely still save for the ruffling of his fur in the breeze. The standoff continued for what seemed an age, my muscles tensing with anticipation. Suddenly, the both of us moved at once, as though we had read each others minds. We walked off in opposite directions, not saying a word, acting as though we had not seen one another. Only once I was a good distance away, when I was sure he was not following me, I began to run. I had kept control of myself, faced myself and my fear. If I could do it once, maybe, I could do it again.

I reached Lee's house with my sides heaving, my tongue appearing and disappearing from my mouth as I panted. I spied a tree near to one of his windows and climbed it, my claws easily pulling me into the branches. I shifted back to human form once within the leaves. As I peered towards the window I was closest to, I realised he wasn't inside it. I huffed. Carefully moving my way to the end of the branch, I took a small leap, grabbing the window sill with my fingers. I edged myself along until at the end of the sill. I looked towards the next window, judging the distance before swinging my body and throwing myself to the next one, again grabbing the sill with my fingers. Being a cat had it's advantages. Pulling myself up, I looked through this window, soon spotting Lee in the room, though he had his back to me. I managed to get a foot onto the window sill, giving me enough balance to knock on the glass with one hand. He looked round and raised an eyebrow, no doubt confused about why I was currently perched outside the window. He walked over and opened the window, allowing me enough room to get inside.
"Why didn't you just use the door?"
I didn't answer his question, instead I flung myself at him, hugging him tightly, burying my head in his chest, which muffled my voice.
"I love you too..."

The song that the bear graced us with was simply beautiful. It had been too long since meaningful and wonderful song had entered my ears, illuminating me inside with melodic harmonies. As the song reverberated between this blessed community of Skinwalkers around me, I felt... somber. It reminded me of what home used to mean to me.

By my own admission, I was not a great singer. As a hunter, and a warrior, my voice was synonymous with things like war-calls. But it seemed downright rude to not participate. Whether this was the tradition of this pack, or merely just a random instance, it was a moment of magic. So I hummed quietly, hoping my 'other' voice would guide my tongue. Sure enough, it did. I was joyous in the discovery. Perhaps, this could really be 'home' for me...

After the wonderful ceremony (if you could call it that), I stuck around for a bit, silent as usual, sitting in my wolf form at the base of a tree. For the first time today, the 'season' was not causing me bother, so I relaxed. I could hear the evening crickets chirping.

The only worrisome feeling I experienced in those blissful few hours was when I locked gaze with Damon. He looked at me scornfully, and in a way, I couldn't blame him; I had robbed him of a chance to achieve his goal of 'leadership'. I returned a glare, chin held upward slightly, revealing my 'necklace'. He trundled away.

Only moments later, I saw Melissa approach. Strange... still, I wished not to alienate her, so I stood on my fours, ears perked.

(By the way, someone written something about spring. But actually its near fall, we started the rp in summer, mentioned somewhere... )

We spent some more time at the forest, talked with the other walkers and then wanted to leave. On our way back, Damon crossed our way. After Damon looked a bit weird and that not even at me, I looked to Chuck. He gave him a really bad stare, kind of challenging him. When I looked back, Damon put his view on me, then he just grinned and got lost between the trees. Something layd in his eyes, that made me nervous. I knew he was up to something... but I didnt want to even think about it. So I pulled Chuck by his hand and we went back to the house.
When we reached it, we took something to eat from the fridge and sat down on my bed.
Well this was really impressing. I mean the most of them didnt knew it, and could sing it anyway! But I didnt understand a word... what was it about?
It´s a real old language, it sings about the skinwalkers themselves, that they are born free and wild, such stuff.
I see. Why dont you show yourself to the normal humans, so ... people like me? Maybe there could be a peaceful come along.
Could and Maybe arent enough. Those people are a family, the only one I have though I never grew up with my parents. I couldnt risk them get hurt. It would be more like a hunting after us, before putting us into shows to show us to the world. It´s too risky.
Dont worry, its all right with me, as long as I can know it. And if Damon makes any trouble to you again, tell me! I just nodded. If Damon would really make trouble again, I wouldn´t tell Chuck about it. Chuck was strong, that for sure and maybe he would have a chance in a confrontation. But as a wolf, Damon could sure rip his arms off if he wanted, and he indeed was an unfair fighter.
After I noded, Chuck gently touched my cheek, wiped over it with the thumb and gave me a kiss. I layd aside a bread I had in my hands, to get leaded by Chuck who softly pressed me backwarts onto the bed. We nearly never broke up the kisses, just sometimes when we slowly got rid of our clothes. Time went by fast and in the morning we felt asleep after that happened, what always happens in mating time. When the sun came through the windows and tickeld my nose, I woke up for a moment, finding myself in Chucks arms. I looked at the clock, then just kissed him softly before pressing myself into him again and fall asleep in his arms again, didnt knowing that outside someone was looking in for a moment.

What...?! I shaked my head, not sure about what I just heard. I got a bit away from her, looking into her eyes, still holding her in my arms. "Eiri...ehm...what did you just say?" She repeated her words. I smiled. I could just smile..it was so perfect. I pulled her nearer again, holding her tight and planning to never let her go again.
"Eiri...I...just don't know what to say. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. You know, this is...the best day of my life." We went into the bedroom, falling down on the bed and kissing eachother. I relaxed, she did too and just moments later we falt asleep.

---

I woke up because someone knocked on the door. I turned around, giving Eiri a fast kiss before I left the bed, took on a jeans and got downstairs. Another knocking. I opened the door, still sleepy. Hefray stood on the veranda. "I advise you that it's important. I just left my warm bed with a beautiful woman in there." "I'm sorry, but it's about..." He made some steps back, looking to the side. I stepped out on the veranda, looking around the corner. Melissa was sitting on the ground, naked and bloody. I hurried over to her. "Melissa! What happened?" I brushed away a strand of her hair. The long strands were dirty and bloody, full with leaves and dirt. She moaned of pain. I hold her face with my hands, Hefray kneeled down next to me. "Tell me what has happened." "I...I don't know...I was talking to the new one...this firesoul..." "Talvi" "Yes, Talvi...we were talking for some time on the meeting place. I thought I would like to have some fun...so I left the place. I walked in the forest...then I realised another person, so I turned around. I thought it would be Talvi following me, but then there was another man and then he knocked me down. That was the last thing I could remember." She moaned again. I looked down her body. She had a big wound on her head. Her belly was covered with scratches, some went deep in the body, some were just superficial. I touched her cheek, hoping to give her strength and to cheer her up a bit. "I woke up like this. Naked, bloody, dirty and not just because of the dirt...I felt like dirt...I don't know whether he..." I hugged her. That has never happened before, of course Melissa was attacked several times, but she was never raped. "I ran through the forest. Luckily Hefray was there, bringing me here..." She moaned. I turned to Hefray. "We ahve to talk to Lex, maybe she knows something. And we could aske Talvi, maybe be really followed her and has seen something. I'll just go up and get Eiri."
I ran up the stairs. Eiri was already awake, but still sleepy. I jumped on the bed and gave her a kiss. "Eiri, stand up. We've got a problem." I went over to the wardrobe, pulling out a shirt. Eiri looked at me, a silent question. I throwed some clothes over to her. "Melissa has been attacked. We have to find Lex." I was already out the door, but not without taking a blanket with me to cover Melissa.
Melissa and Hefray were still sitting on the veranda. I covered her into the blanket. "Can you walk, Melissa?" She shaked her head. "Ok, we have to carry her then." Eiri stepped out on the veranda, Hefray carried Melissa in his arms. "I've seen Damon yesterday night. Could he...?" She took on a jacket. "We'll see." Together we made our way to Lex house. As we reached the door, I knocked. Nobody opened. Eiri went around the house, looking through the window. I knocked again. This time a sleepy human opened the door. "Lex, we have a problem." I called for her, ignoring the confused look the human had when seeing a naked, bloody woman and three skinwalkers.

I couldn't believe the state Melissa was in. She was covered in blood and dirt; I wanted to wash her, to make her clean again, I knew how horrible it was to be constantly reminded of a bad event. But we needed to show Lex, to provide evidence. My thoughts turned to last night. I had been alone in the woods too, could it just have easily been me who was attacked? Was this random, or a planned attack? I remembered how I came face-to-face with Damon, what if he had been responsible, should I have stopped him, was I partially to blame? My body shuddered.

As I looked through the window of Lex's house I noticed a shape in the bed. Figuring it to be her I raised a hand to knock on the glass, but stopped.
What will she think if I'm peering through her window? She won't like it I imagine...
Lee's voice as he called for Lex roused her, so I ducked down out of sight, not wanting to be accused of spying. It was then, while I was near the ground, I caught the scent of someone, or something. I couldn't quite place it, but it made me wonder why someone had been lurking around the window. The smell moved off towards the woods. I looked towards the others, unsure how much help I would actually be, then back to the woods. Curiosity got the better of me and I ran into the trees, following the scent.

What a wonderful night...

I woke up in my hotel room, but I was still so very drowsy. I had slept very well indeed after last night's gathering. Ah... the thought of it warmed my cold heart. It made me feel alive again. I showered and cleaned myself up, before venturing out into what I perceived as 'welcoming territory'. I still thought about the events of the night before as I walked down the streets of the town. But oddly enough, nobody had come to meet me. My god, I'd only just realised; I had no idea where they were! In a hurry, I darted into the woodland, making sure I was out of sight before donning my lupine skin. I must've been searching for a scent for almost half an hour, before I caught a whiff of anything familiar. And it wasn't the scent of whom I was expecting. It was Melissa's scent...

...It smelt like blood.

Sure enough, I found stains on the undergrowth, traces of an altercation. How was this possible? Only last night, we had spoken to each other and everything was fine before I left (though I didn't speak much, I merely listened and responded politely). I followed the scent, as it combined with Hefray's. There was a foul omen hanging over this situation...

It briefly took me to Lee's house, but then the trail intensified, infused with Lee and Eiri's distinctive odours. If I was correct in assuming Melissa had been injured, it was reassuring to know she had at least managed to get help. I followed the trail to another house. Was this...? Yes, I thought so. It was Lex's house.

I disguised myself as a human again, knocking the door three times. No more, no less. I called to whoever might be inside as I did so. "Hello? It's me, Talvi. Can I have a word?"

The door opened. Lex was holding it, and she did not look pleased. "Just the guy we're looking for. Come in."

I nodded, and stepped inside. As I caught the attention of the group that awaited me inside, I saw a mixture of expressions. This worried me. "What's going on?" I asked obliviously.

I´d like to know that too. So if I got it right, she got "raped" and you found her this way in the forest? And you guess it was Damon or our beach boy here?
Hefray nodded. Talvi looked shocked and I nearly could smell how he got nervous, but not in a "he-did-it" way. Without noticing, I was getting rather rude, innerly angry to get woken up like this.
Well as much as I like it to make Damon the bad one, I dont think he did this. I knew him for too long. He can put you a knife in your back if you turn around! But he wouldnt rape anybody. And anyway, Melissa more than provokes it to get raped. Running around and flirting around with every three legged person you meet is not the way of an innocent girl who then cries of getting raped!
"Hey! Watch it! You are still talking about a friend! She wouldnt rape herself would she?!"
I believe this girl would do anything to get her attention on men.
"TAKE THAT BACK BRAT!"
Whou whou, why dont we calm down everybody? We... "Shut it boy and move it!" Hefray grabbed for Chuck, pulled him once before pushing him backwards and he slipped, luckily landing on the bed only. Raged I jumped forward, shoved him at the wall, turning wolf, same time as he did as a reflex. When we hit the ground I stood over him, snarling badly and my fur all up.
Dont you DARE to ever touch him again!
Hei Lex... WHAT?! I shouted to Eiri and turned my head around, not letting go of Hefray.
Come on... its not the time to fight. We must find out who did it, or it could happen again!
Oh come on! I said loud, switched back and did a step away from Hefray so he could stand up again as also switch back.
Dont make such a drama! It´s mating season, a rape between animals is such normal! I wonder it never happened to you, or to HER at least?! It even happened to me once and I didnt ... oh stop staring at me like that! I shouted at Chuck now who had a very confused and shocked view at me now.
If you like or not, Damon wouldnt rape anybody! As hard to say it, but he would be one of those who protects you from it.
Did he... protect you back then?
We are not discussing this... it´s about Damon now and he didnt do it. There have to be someone else, maybe if she was going around as human, it could even have been one from the city having a walk in the forest! I could guess so many now, there have been so many drooling mouthes on the meeting.
"What kind of leader would talk like that to people who need help..." he silently said, but loud enough we could all hear it cause it was accidentally silent in that moment.
It was like the last drop that made the glass flow over, if I would have been in my wolf form, every single hair would have went up.
EVERYONE OOOOUT! I shouted showing to the door. As said, all did a fast return and went outside, Lee giving Hefray a bad look when they went.
When they where gone I finally had a moment to even breath.

"That wasn't good, right?!" "Not. At. All." Hefray still carried Melissa. We already helped her to wash her body and to put on some clothes but still she was to weak to walk herself. I was mad on Hefray, but I could also understand him. We thought we would find help, instead we were chased away. Hefray would never do this. He was always a fair and helpful alpha, always effort to help anybody. I shaked my head. "This was just....Why didn't she help us?" I looked into the round. Talvi came with us, still surprised about what had happened. I looked into his face. "I don't believe it was you.I guess you aren't this kind of alpha." He nodded. "Still, I would like to know who it was." We moved through the forest, till we found my house. "You can all come inside, if you like." Together we entered the living room. Hefray layed down Melissa on the Couch.
"I hope this wont get bloody..." I looked over to Hefray, not understanding what he meant. "You know, if she talks like this with us, she might also talk like this to others. Some People might not like that." I growled. "What do you want to say?" "Eventhough she is Young, this is not the fine english way. It's not the behaviour a leader should show his pack. A leader should always cheer his people up so everybody stand behind him. I don't know whether Lex' people stand behind her. Will they all fight for her?" He looked into my eyes. "You were always loyal. And you know like I do. I would have fight for my pack, just as my pack would have fight for me. And there are too many firesouls around in the moment. That's why I said I hope it wont get bloody, 'cause I wish for her that nobody will bring her down." I nodded. Somehow he was right. But then something came into my mind. "Don't you think it's frightening that it's normal to be raped? I come from the wilds, but raping wasn't a daily event." Melissa has fallen asleep, so we went over into the kitchen. I made something to eat, before we sat down at the table.
"Eiri, you were gone after we entered the house. Did you find out something?"

I shake my head in answer to Lee's question.
"No... there was a scent trail, but I lost it, I'm not as good at tracking as wolves..."
I'd only been able to follow the trail for a little while before it ran cold and no matter how much I had searched around I couldn't find it, so I'd had to give up. I was quiet for a little while, the amount of people in the kitchen was making me nervous, so while the others talked among themselves about what to do next I played over the conversation at Lex's house in my head. I had to admit, I was very angry with her. To the point of wanting to hit her. I hadn't, thankfully, but I just couldn't believe she could pass off a potential rape as just 'normal animal behaviour'. The more I think about the conversation, the angrier I became, until I'm trembling. Without realising, I began to voice my thoughts out loud.
"No-one ever deserves to be raped. No matter what they say or do, or what they wear, they are never asking to be raped, nor do they deserve it. The very idea sickens me. Passing this off as just 'animals being animals' is ridiculous, like it or not, we are not just animals, there is a human part to us, a rational part that allows us to control our desires. This is just her pathetic excuse for not being able to handle her own problems. Until she sorts herself out she is never going to be a good leader."

I knew my words were biting and I didn't really think Lex was a bad leader, but I was angry, so the words flowed. I suddenly realise Lee, Hefray and Talvi have stopped talking and are staring. Right at me. I look down, timid, scared and agitated. I practically jump to my feet, my voice flustered.
"I-I'm... I'm sor-sorry... I...I didn't.. mean... I-I'll just... go."
Before anyone can say anything I exit the room, then the house. I can't deal with the staring, not from so many people at once, I have to get away for moment. I run into the trees, letting the forest envelop me. The trees don't stare, don't judge, don't bully, they make me feel safe. After a little while I'm able to slow down, dropping my pace to a slow walk. I feel a drop of water on my nose. Tilting my head up I feel more drops, getting steadily heavier and more frequent, until the heavens open in a torrent of rain. I smile as the water soaks into my hair, my clothes and drips down my skin. I love rain. It feels cleansing, as though it's washing away the grime of life. For a while I stand with my eyes closed, content to let the rain flow over me.

Snap.

I turn, suddenly alert. A man stands behind me, a man I have never seen before, body tense, a broken twig beneath his foot. He looks at me and I see part of his face is misshapen, perhaps from some long ago injury. Without warning he lunges at me, hands outstretched to grab me. I scream, turn. His hand grabs my shirt. I struggle, the fabric rips. I'm free! I run, I don't even think of shifting to animal form, all my brain can think of doing is running.

I can hear his footsteps behind me.

Well, this was one hell of a situation we had on our hands. I was glad that the blame for this 'behaviour' hadn't been placed at my feet, considering how these 'urges' were affecting me so drastically, and that I had been fighting tooth-and-claw to not do anything stupid, having only just been accepted (though at times, those glares I would sometimes be privy to made me feel anything but). However, it was nice to hear both Lex and Lee openly defending me by dismissing these claims. It would've been easier to dump the fault with me, and kick me out of the group, but they didn't.

By the time we arrived at Lee's house to discuss things, however, I felt a different kind of burning inside me. An unexplainable anger. Why? Why was I angry? In my cold silence, I pondered as the others spoke. After suddenly and dramatically voicing her opinion, Eiri left in a hurry, almost like she had felt embarrassed about her outburst. I couldn't blame her for her self-consciousness; whatever her history was, those scars of hers seemed only to remind her of pain. Poor girl.

In my head, I could see both sides of the argument. On the one hand, it was very clear to me that, as Skinwalkers, we were not just a pack, nor a community. We were both. There has always been a chain-of-command, or a pecking order at least with every tribe I have met (and having travelled so far from home, I had met a few). But there was always a different mind-set between them. Some folk believed in forced partnerships, others did not. It was a dubious subject, and it was not worth discussing. There were two things fuelling my anger. Firstly, I was angry at myself. I had spoken to Melissa, possibly no more than a moment before this may have happened, before leaving her to her devices. At the time I had thought about escorting her home, but I had chosen not to because I didn't want to impose on her. My vanity may have allowed for this to happen.

The second thing that bothered me was the worst part. Suddenly, Lex was being questioned as a leader. I couldn't say I agreed with Lex, but there was something more to this. Something unseen. So to immediately be questioning the leader's ability to lead? Over ONE disagreement? No matter how petty this thought was, it stung me. Old wounds run deep, as they say...

...But I was not a leader anymore. It was none of my business.

I stayed silent. My thoughts were not relevant. What mattered to me was finding this guy, and I would do it, even if that meant doing it alone. I guess it was a thought of self-justification in my mind that made me feel this way.

I looked outside. The rain fell, and it reminded me of home.

Uhm... Lex?
No, not now Chuck! I turned around and picked my leather-jacket, ready to leave.
No wait! I just wanted to tell you that I will be gone for a week, not even in country. It´s some kind of trip in my job and yeah... I have to leave at midday today. So before you leave....? He stepped forward, kissed me gently on my forehead. I didnt dare to look into his eyes, I knew what question now burned in his soul.
You will be alright? We can talk about it when I come back or... anytime you feel like doing so. So... goodbye dear. One more kiss, I gave him a nod and then leaved the house. When I just stepped out, it was starting to rain. I went to the forest and then switched to wolf. It was lot easier to deal with rain if it just was fur, though the fall told us, it was getting colder now.
I stepped a little faster as it began to rain even more, I did a slow run to calm myself down. I was so angry at them! Breaking into my house like that, not able to deal with problems on their own, coming to seek a black-sheep in form of Damon. Was it kind of a plan? Did they want to get rid of them? He was such a dick, but he always lived here and got a second chance now. Why should I trust those strangers more than my people I always knew?

It felt like I slowed down now, when I suddenly heard running steps and some shouting. I lifted my ears up, listening for the sounds that came such near to me. Then without a warning, Eiri runned nearly infront of me on a forest path, not seing me and acting like she had seen a ghost. I rolled my eyes and wanted to turn around, then I saw this man, running after her. And this face looking like chewed up, wasnt a new one. I layd down my ears again, snarling silently before getting up speed again and running on my side of the path after him. When I followed their tracks, there where a lot of scents, the biggest ones Eiris fear and the guys body scent, telling easily it was the one that had been on Melissa too. When I finally speeded up to my limit, I catched up, and before he could reach her again, telling on her ripped shirt, I jumped sidewards from my path and crashing right into him. That made him struggle, though he had grabbed for her and Eiri felt too, but in a different direction.
I rolled around with this guy a moment before standing up again snarling. This monstrous bastard was one of the biggest gusys I knew, his hands like pans, his working eye like the pure devil. I jumped again, right into his face, but as big as he was he was able to defend himself, even against a wolf. But I scented it, I smelled his fear what made me rage up even more. He hit me on a bad day, I guess he knew it when I bit his leg deeply and pulled him down on his back before snapping for his throat. He grabbed for my ears and fur, tried to rip me off but I wouldnt let go. As faster he pulled out some fur parts, then harder I bit his throat. His movings where getting slower, till he finally didnt move anymore, his hands sinking down on the earth. When I let go off him, my mouth was full of blood and I could barley bring up my ears again. This guy just came in time, perfect to give him all the anger I had innerly. When I turned my head to the noises, there was Eiri, standing shocked and still in fear, right after her came Hefray, Lee and Talvi who might have heared her shouts and came after. They stopped abruptly when they reached. I didnt want to talk, and my eyes told it too. I just lifted my tail high and left the place in proud and mighty trot, leaving them behind with the dead men.

I stepped over to Eiri, ignoring the dead body. I would have killed him too, but Lex was first here. Eiris top was ripped. "Did he...?" She shaked her head. I pulled her into my arms, thanking God that she was a cat, fast enough to run away. I kissed. When I heard her screams, I paniced. We remained in this position, till Hefray said something. "He's definitely dead." I nodded. "We have to bring him away. And we have to thank Lex. I don't know what might have happened when she wouldn't been here." Eiri was shaking. I leaded her over to a tree stump, laying my jacket around her shoulders and kissed her on her forehead. Then I stepped next to Hefray, looking down to the dead man. "Any ideas?" Talvi and Hefray shrugged their shoulders. "Sink or bury?"
I lifted up the body, carrying it to the others. Hefray stood up, came over to me and took the man. "I'll do that." I nodded."Thanks."


I went over to Eiri. She stopped shaking, but still looked rather shocked. "What you had said before this. I think you are right. You don't have to be ashamed of your opinion or of saying so." I pulled her in my arms. "I don't think that Lex will be back soon. She looked quiet angry, but we have to thank her. Can you walk?" She nodded. I helped Eiri to stand up and we went through the forest. Talvi didn't move. It was like he wasn't sure what to do. "What's up Talvi?"

As I walked along beside Lee I did not speak, but pulled his jacket as tightly round myself as I could, trying to hide the skin that showed where my shirt had ripped. I heard him address Talvi, but I did not look back. I felt as if the world was pulling away from me, as though I were walking on glass that could shatter any moment, sending me spiraling out of control. My mental state was slipping, I could almost feel it doing so; I wasn't used to being around so many people for so long and with all the things that had happened over the past few days, I wasn't sure I could cope. My scattered thoughts bounced through my mind and I tried to focus on them, an attempt to keep myself together.

First, the dead man. It wasn't that I was ungrateful, on the contrary, I was glad Lex had killed the man, I didn't want to know what he - or I - might have done had he caught me. What bothered me, was how proud she had seemed as she walked away. Perhaps it was because it was proven Damon had not raped anyone, or perhaps it was because she had killed the man before the rest of us. But to be proud of killing another person? That disturbed me greatly. I had killed many, but that fact did not fill me with pride, it filled me with horror at my own actions. Perhaps I was at fault? My fear, my revulsion, at the thought of killing anyone else, perhaps it made me weak, unable to defend myself.
Your fear makes you weak, you bring this upon yourself.
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the thought, of the primal, violent part of me that had no problem with death. It had kept me alive while I fought in that place, but I didn't want it to consume me, I didn't want to go back to being that way. I thought about running from this place, but then I think of Lee, of the burning warmth he bring's to my heart. I can't leave him. But if I lose myself in this place, with all these people, what will happen then? An image of how Lex killed the man flashes before me, of how ruthless she had been.
Would she try to kill me the same way?
I stumble, fall against a tree. The bark is wet, slippery from the rain, soothing, I lay my cheek against it. After a few moments I feel arms round me and I look up into Lee's face, an expression of worry on his features. I rest my head against his chest, he hugs me for a moment, before we continue through the woods.

I heard Lee ask me the question, but I was unsure how to answer. I was trying to swallow down some serious emotions at the time. Seeing Lex murder that guy... it just... reminded me of myself from back then. What could I say to the others? That I felt she did the right thing? I wasn't sure if I did, now that I had seen the situation from an outer perspective. But could I blame her? I don't think so. As I had done the same once. As a leader, you make difficult decisions, sometimes in the heat of the moment, to protect yourself and, more importantly, your tribe.

"...Something is not right with Lex. I'm going to try and find out what it is. I'll meet you guys later tonight..."

Lee looked curious at first, but then decided to let me get on with it. Before I trundled off to find Lex, though, I looked back at Lee and spoke again. "By the way, I..."

I paused, trying to find the right words to say. "I'm sorry for what happened to Melissa. I shouldn't have left her by herself. Tell her that."

Before he could say anything, I dashed off after Lex's scent. It took me a while to track her down, but eventually I found her at a clearing in the forest. "Lex!"

She tilted her head nonchalantly toward me, silent and still. Perhaps she thought I was going to cause trouble, but it wasn't my intention, and I wished to make it clear, so I sat at a respectful distance.

"Lex, I don't blame you for doing that. You've gotta do what you've gotta do as a leader, right? But I've seen it in your eyes; something's bothering you deeply, and it looks like it's affecting you... Is there... anything I can help with?"

You cant I snarled at him and went on. He stopped back there, but after some steps I did too, taking an idea for real now. I stepped the way I came back, crossed Talvis way and catched up to Lee and Eiri. They looked a little weird at me, partly splitted up what I used. I shoved my hand between them, cutting them apart and then turned to Eiri, grabbing her at her shirt and pulling her more near.
What are you girl? What are you useful to? You think you are worth wearing the necklace of a windsoul!? Come on look at you! I snarled deeply. Then I heard how Lee did steps behind me, I turned around fast like a snake, grabbed him as wolf in his neck though he also switched as now Eiri did, and pressed him to the ground, looking to Eiri again then.
You are a worthless brat! Cant you even defend yourself?! If I wouldnt have been there, you would be raped or even dead now! Maybe there is more use from you then, when you are gone! She stood there as always, I waited and nothing happen. I lowered my snarl for a moment, thinking, then the silently snarling Lee under me came into my head. I grinned a bit, bown down to his head, my teeth showing and snarling near his head, and my eye contact gone from her.
Maybe it wouldnt even be so bad if your damn mate would be finally gone eh?... In that moment, something cracked in her head, she jumped forward and clawed into my back. Knowing it would happen, I just rolled around and got her off in this way. We did some fighting moves, she totally raged up, then I grabbed her and pressed her to the ground with both front feed. Her snout was in the dust, she fast breathing and was snarling in her throat. I waited some seconds, then I jumped off and directly infront of her, my snarling gone.
There it is. There IS some part of windsoul in you, just hiding pretty good. In this forest, you wont survive long, all turned wilder since the last years. If you want to have kids one day, or even defend yourself or your mate from guys like the one today, you need to LEARN how to FIGHT! And not just blindly run into some fight! No matter how strong you are, you cant win a fight without your brain and tactics! I stopped in, letting my words sink into her mind. Then my slight smile turned away, I got serious face once more.
Your luck, fall is youngsters training time. A kind of small school for young skinwalkers, they learn how to defend themselves. I teach them myselves, and trust me, noone yet failed a fight! Join the lessons and learn how to be a real windsoul, and not a freaking scared kid anymore. Else you wont make it long in my lands, and as I said; you wont leave this place ever again. Something in our inner wont let us go. So learn, or one day end up killed sooner than you want. It doesnt matter what you once where, it matters what you are NOW, HERE!...
Training is on weekends, so tomorrow too, starting at midday, sandhollow near the meetig place. I gave her one more look, then I looked at the still wild breathing Lee who had stepped aside his girlfriend. But I didnt give him much attention, I again looked back to Eiri, looking into her eyes with mine strong enough, to make sure it would be the best and that she should finally jump over her shadow. Without an other word I turned around and left to go home. Leaving them both alone with a fight they thought it was for real, and an reaction they wouldnt have expected.

Breathing was hard. I was still filled with anger. That was too much. Definitely. I stood up, stepping next to Eiri. I growled. "She could have told you in a different way...and you aren't helpless." I brushed off the dirt from my jeans. Eiri was breathing fast. "Calm down." I fondled her arms, as I heard a noise behind me. It was Talvi coming out the trees. I growled over to him. "What do you want?" The firesoul still remained quiet. I starred into his eyes, didn't know what to think about his thoughts.


"Ok, I solved the problem..." Hefray came back, looking at us. "What has happened know?" "Nothing." I turned around, ready to leave, but Hefray stopped me. "Just Lex telling us how to behave in her warm way." I freed myself. Eiri came over to me, this time to calm me. I could already feel my blood cooking, the anger filling my thoughts. I gave her a warm smile and took her hand. We went back to my house, silent. Nobody talked.


We entered the living room. Melissa has woken up. "Are you feeling better?" "Yes, and thank you all for helping me. I know it was..." "Everythings fine. We had a lot of trouble because of that, but atleast Lex killed the guy who raped you." Her eyes widened. "Hefray brought him away. And because it wasn't fun enough to day Lex attacked us, because she wanted to tell us something. I'm still asking myself why she couldn't talk to us." Melissa sighed. "That's normal firesoul behaviour I guess." I nodded. Melissa looked over to Eiri, discovering her riped T-shirt. "Wait, what happened to you?" "Nearly the same what has happened to you, Mel. As I had said from the beginning, you are always trouble. Good thing that you are a watersoul. Lex would have killed immediately if you would have been another firesoul." I stepped over to her, pulling her into my arms. "I'm glad, that you are ok again." She nodded. "Ok, I'll leave now I guess. I think I have to thank Hefray for rescuing me." She left the house and Eiri and I were alone again.


We went upside in the bedroom, taking off our everyday clothes and went to bed. I pulled her into my arms, whispering in her ears. "I'm always there for you. And nethertheless what Lex had said, you are strong and you are a windsoul." We fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, I woke up. Eiri was woken up too. "What's up? Still thinking about what Lex said?" She nodded. "It's your choice what to do. If you like to train yourself, do so. I will stay behind you and I'll of course go with you to the training if you like."

I sit up in bed, bending my knees, folding my arms and resting my chin atop them. I sigh, thinking back to earlier. Never had I felt such a white hot rage before; not when I had been tortured, threatened or insulted, yet when Lee had been in potential danger I lost it completely. In that anger I had forgotten all reasoning and tactics, but Lex seemed to think that was the only way I could fight. I feel a spark within me, a shred of pride, still lingering within me. I speak, partly to Lee, mostly to myself.
"She thinks I cannot fight, that I have no tactics. True, I lost it back then, but that is not all I can do, I have been trained. I just do not want to fight, this is what she does not seem to understand. I do not want to create more bloodshed. But... I do know when I am pushed to fight, when I'm angry, I just try to use brute force to win, that is a fault of mine."
I look to Lee, making out the features of his face in the low light.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I will go to this training, but I will show her the way I fight, not the way she wishes me to. I will prove I am not helpless."
I myself am unaware of where this defiant attitude has come from, but I embrace it. The small spark ignites, flickering into a small flame inside me.

I smile at Lee, laying across his chest, my head beneath his chin. I knew how angry he had been earlier, but his body seems more relaxed now, I can feel his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair. I make a sound akin to a purr, before lifting my head to look at his face. I lean toward him, kissing his lips for a moment. I pull back, smiling again, then kiss him more vigorously, a moan escaping me. I feel his hands moving across my skin and my passion flares, I nibble his lip slightly. He suddenly flips me over, still kissing me, his hands moving to my hips. We don't sleep much for the rest of the night...