Skinwalker

I sat beside Lex slowly, and I could see that she'd noticed my concern. I didn't like seeing Lex so disheveled. Heck, I didn't like seeing anybody injured. Violence was such a crude, unmeasured, and primitive resolution to any situation, necessary or not. A strange thing for me to say, considering I used to find my place in the midst of it. I could see Lex's distress, so I licked her wound for her. I saw her looking at me with intrigue, so I stopped and dipped my head. We sat there for a while, silently. But something stirred me. My ears pointed up and I raised my head, alert. I felt cold for a moment, but only a moment. As I settled again, Lex spoke. "What is it, Talvi?"

"...I don't know, but whatever it was... it's gone now."

As my mind refocused itself, I frowned. There were urgent matters to discuss concerning the rogue walkers and Damon's tyranny, but those were not my primary interest. As much as I had not wanted to push the matter, I couldn't honestly sit by and let her suffer in silence. I needed to hear Lex's story. "Lex, what happened to you? You left us, happy in a human's arms, and after a few weeks, you return, without said human and with grievous injuries. Please, I want to help you."

I held my breath in the silence of the immediate answer.

When Lee hadn't returned for some time, I became concerned. I didn't know what it was, but my skin prickled with dread. Something was wrong...

Having left the house in jaguar form I searched the forest for Lee's scent, following the happy trail, then noticing how it suddenly changed with the arrival of a new scent. I ran after the both, following as best I could. I skidded to a stop at the sight of Melissa, a small group of others and what looked to be a body, my lips pulling back in a grimace from the smell of blood. When I realised the body was that of Hefray I let out a yowl, drawing the attention of the others with a jolt. Words tumbled from my mouth before any of the others could speak,
"What happened?! Where's Lee? I could smell him here. Oh god Hefray... Why would anyone do this to you...?"
"Eiri! The hyenas did this, Lee h-he.... he ran away, he was distraught, I don't know where he went but, Hefray, he isn't... Wait! EIRI!"
It was too late, I had already started running. I knew my feeling of unease should not be ignored, especially given how sharp and distressed my mate's new scent trail was. It continued for miles and I thought I would never find him, my legs were already so tired and only my determination kept me going.

Then I saw him.

Stood at the edge of the cliff, overlooking the water before him. He was too close. He looked ready to step over into the void. Not knowing what else to do, I called out to him,
"Lee! Baby, baby please, come towards me. We'll work through this, I say what happened, but you need to see your child grow up. We'll laugh, cry, argue, make memories, all of these things, we'll do together. Just please, come away from the edge."
I was trying not to scream, trying to keep my voice as calm as I could, taking a few steps toward Lee. He didn't turn around, despite my talking to him. I could feel my panic rising in my throat, threatening to choke me.
"Lee please, just look at me!"
After a few moments, he finally began to turn towards me, despair written clear across his features. Before he or I could say any more, there was a crumbling sound, as the edge of the cliff fell apart beneath his weight. I could see the shock pass across his face as solid ground gave way to nothingness. A beastial shriek ripped from my throat as I lunged forward, jaws open. I didn't think, I just moved. I felt my jaws close round fur and as I began to make sense of the situation I realised my teeth had managed to grab his scruff and the both of us were now teetering at the edge. My claws dug into the unstable ground at the cliff edge, my neck beginning to ache from the dead weight of Lee hanging over the side of the cliff. I tried to edge backwards, grunting with the effort and using my tail for balance, in an attempt to pull him back up, but I could hear, could feel, the ground creaking beneath me. With my unborn child growing bigger, I was heavier than normal and having run for so long to get here it took more effort to hold myself, let alone Lee's extra weight. I couldn't find any grip on this surface and I could feel myself starting to slip.

Help? You cant help me anymore for what just happened.
I guess I will need to explain this story more than once, maybe as first one you can hear the full story instead of short cuts then. Well.
I sat up again, taking a deep breath like making myself ready to dig up what I just shoved away from my mind for the last two weeks.
When I left, I felt happy to be with Chuck, thought we could make up some life, seperated from humans AND animals. Just we two.
After a week then, we had travelled far, but the fact that Chuck was no animal, made it hard to survive, he couldnt eat raw meat, sometimes we couldnt make fire to cook it so we wouldnt get found. Also the nights where freezing cold. As we found a city then, well more a village, we made up some leash, and he playd like having a wolf as his pet dog. It went on good, we stayd in the village for another two weeks. But playing this show of a pet wolf, we couldnt risk being seen as Skinwalker so I stayd wolf for the most time. I dont know if he lost his mind as a human in me in that time... anyway someday then, we walked to a silent edge of the village, but I could smell the blood, fear and hate. Animal fights. Real animals, not only dogs like these tipical fights, neither skinwalkers.
It was weird and I still cant bring clear to my mind how those people got to get these animals! Lions, bears... it´s not like you can hide them easily! Chuck somehow became buddy to one of the fight people, talked to him often and then they came to me. A wolf was a lovely seen... prey. It showed, that they used wolves before to be killed by them, bidding on the time they could spend the time in the arena alive. Then I seen this thing in Chucks eyes. Something only a human can have. Money thirst. So he wrote me in, gave me to the people and watched me fight. I guess he made some good money, knowing I was a good fighter, smart, so I could stay alive longer than the usual wolves. I became famous in that arena, and had to fight many times. And everytime I looked up to the viewer seats, I´ve seen less and less of the Chuck I knew. He didnt saw me as a human anymore. I have never been betrayed like that before.
I gulped, sighed and for a moment get lost in my mind where I still saw his face. When Talvi tapped with his feet, like wanting to shove more near, I came back to my mind.
A...anyway. He left be there, me fighting for days. My strenght was leaving me, I was sure I would die there. But they had no cage for me, so every night I got bent on my neck and tail so I couldnt move much more than one step. This rope is still from the fights. Its tight. I guess someone of us could remove it but... I wanna keep it. As sign of never trusting humans again. Never.
I took a break again, the silence of the night came. Then I lifted my voice again, dark and wise sounding.
One night then, when nearly everyone was gone, a fire started within the arena. The humans ran off in panick, leaving the animals behind. I heard them screaming, their poor souls maybe finally finding some peace. But I couldnt manag to escape at first. The fire came nearer and was directly before me, when it burned the rope, where it was bent so I could turn around. But the one on my tail wouldnt get off, and the fire was that near, I couldnt wait to also burn that rope. *sigh* You know what coyotes do, when their feets get trapped? I asked, looking at Talvi with sad eyes, before looking to the ground again.
I bit off my own tail at it´s half. When it was off, I was free, but then heard a shouting between all the others. It was Chuck. Driven by instinct I ran after it, more deep into the arena. Then I saw him, a firewall before me. He was surrounded, no way to come out. When he saw me, he shouted for help. But he didnt shout for me. He shouted "wolf". I know I lost him. Maybe it was my fault. We are walkers, no humans. I turned around and left him behind, hearing his death scream just seconds later. But still I was within the arena, the fire spreading out more and more. But I knew the way. The only escape, was through a wooden tunnel, which already broke under the strenght of fire. But I had to walk through. I saw the end of it, but the fire already caught my fur. I ran faster and faster, needed to crawl because the roof was breaking and the risk to get catched within the burning tunnel, was high. Nearly at the end then, some parts of the roof came down and when i crawled more, my ear got stuck on a long bown nail which looked out of the wood. It hurted like hell, and then the fire had a small explosion right before my head. I just hopped forward, out of the fire. Then I was out, and ran. I ran into the next forest, ran through the darkness, all on my own again. When I reached some small lake I slowed down a little, but I was weak from the many fights with all the new scars, my tail and my ear where bleeding without a stop and my face felt like it was ripped off. I then just lost my consciousness. When I woke up the day after, I took a look of myself in the lake, and it felt like an other person was in my mirror picture. I felt weak like never before, but there was noone to take care of me. I just layd there for more hours, waiting if I could just die. But when the evening came, I lifted myself up, managed to catch an old rabbit and somehow survived. I spend a while near the village, watching how people removed the burned parts of the arena, some shocked of that there was such thing within their village. On my short ways in that unknown forest, I also met some humans. They sure seen the rope around my neck, my fire markings and knew I must have been one of the arena animals. And so some came to catch me. I still dont know if they wanted to catch me for helping me, or catch me to just take me down because an arena animal would have been a danger to them. I ran off, walked for days, nearly two weeks, and finally reached home. Before I came here, I took some bath to wash off the blood and dirt, you wouldnt have seen me Lex, you have thought Im a different wolf hehe. Well at least I learned some things out there. Some new fight skills, never trusting humans and to never leave my home again. My mind was blinded to not see what I already had here. A family. A weird one, but a true family.
In that moment Selar jumped around, Melissa taking a look and leaving again, back home.
Am I your family too?
Of course. He just layd down at my left side, and nearly fell asleep within seconds. I snickered.
Time to find some sleep then. It´s late. Would you maybe like to stay here for the night? Some company is always nice. I mean besides Selar hmhm.
He was thinking for a moment, maybe lost in my story, then nodded. When he layd down at my right, I layd myself down too, completely on my right side, stretched and Selar shoving himself up in his sleep against me. I felt Talvis neck fur against mine, fell his warmth before falling asleep. I never felt that save within weeks, and so I had a totally relaxed sleep what restored my strenght nearly completely within one night.


The next morning, I was woken up by loud shouts, whimpers and crys. I jumped up, Talvi right behind me and Selar shocked too shook his head. I listened once more, then ran into the direction it came from. I heard Talvi and Selar behind me when I sprinted to a small group of walkers. I just saw Eiri ran away when I reached the place. When I came there, the group splitted to make space for me, then I saw Hefray. My jaw opened but no words left it.
Lex! The Hyenas! They attacked Hefray. Lee and Eiri ran off, I couldnt tell them he started breathing again!
So... theres a chance?
Yes, yes! I need to bring him to a hospital, maybe he can do it!
Human hospital?! Forget it!
What? But...
I SAID FORGET IT! I snarled at her loudly. She looked shocked at me, her eyes wide opened. There was silence, till it was broken from Hefrays silent breath. I looked down where he was between my paws.
Go to my house, take the stuff of the very right edge of my room and bring it here. You need to stitch the wound. Go and take it!
It took her some time, but then Melissa started running. I heard the blood in his throat gurgling. I was like torn apart, but I had no chance in this moment. I switched to human, kneed down and layd my hand on his chest, grabbed it hard and concentrated hardly, till he finally switched his body. I could nearly hear the confusion of the walkers, hold my head as much down as I could, not willed to show them my human look with the ripped dreads, nearly destroyd clothers and totally burned face like some kind of monster. I layd Hefray on his back, opened his mouth and layd mine on it, breathing out and trying to push the blood in his throat down, so he could breath more clear. When Melissa came back, I managed to make him breath better, his eyes still closed. When she sat down on his other side, she just gave me the stitching stuff. I didnt want to do it, but I seen the fear in her eyes of doing it by herself. So I took it, put cord on the needle.
Talvi, I feel weird... Somethings wrong, go and search for Lee and Eiri!
He just ran off without asking, following their foot steps. At least one who did what I said without asking. When he was gone, I started to close his throat wound where still so much blood came out. When the wound was closed then, we pulled him to a little rock, where we could lean him on, so he could partly sit. He could make it, I smiled for a moment, then I seen paw prints. Unusual ones. Hyenas paw prints. When I looked back to Melissa, she cried. When she looked at me then, she smiled boldly, grabbed me and hugged me, me just holding my arms up in confusion.
Thank you so much Lex! God must have sent you!
I shoved her back a little, switched back to wolf.
There is no god. There is only ourselves and what we make out of us.
I stepped aside, looking at the paw prints a little more, and breathing in the stinky scent of those hyenas.
I told Selar to stay with Melissa, lifted my head and let out a deep howl, which went through the whole forest. A call for everyone who was willing to fight, could follow me. Then I ran after the tracks.
I sprinted, as fast as I could, letting my whole anger out. On my way, following the tracks, I crossed a small lake, where on the edge above, where Eiri, Lee and since some seconds Talvi. I didnt see them, neither smell them, concentrated on the tracks. But they see me, hardly breathing from nearly falling into death, from which I didnt knew.
I just kept running, and didnt find company at my side, but I didnt care.
It wasnt a short way, but then, I found them. On their way to a cave maybe, they looked at me surprised, five of them (think it was 5?...).
I jumped on the next best rock, looking down to them. They just lifted their heads, wondering about my showing up.
"And who are you, snarling at us like this?"
I am the rightful leader of this territory. You dont belong here. And you will leave it now!
"Ha! Leader, you make me laugh little girl! Look at yourself! Scars all over, you more look like an Omega!"
Scars just show I survived something that was stronger than me. So, will you move my territory you murderers?!
"Of course NOT!"
I hoped you to say so. You tried to kill a part of my family, you beasts! Now it´s HUNTING SEASON! I lifted my head once more, howling once more. Then I jumped right at the one speaking with me and a wild fight began. I used all my new tricks and was totally in rage, willed to kill everyone of those beasts, coming here and killing with no reason like humans did. Seing them as humans, made me even rage more! The fight went for some time, and I had managed to break the neck of one of the young mans, what made them want to kill me even more too.
The fight leaded us away, the dead body left as a good track for those who followed me anyway.
I was fighting like giving a shit to my own live, when they managed to press me to the ground and nearly wanted to snap for my throat, when out of the bush above me, Talvi jumped out, followed by Damon, Talvis troup and a few other walkers. The hynes went off me, ran back, but I just jumped up, following the others and attacked them again. I wanted to see them dead, and all the walkers at my sides, wanted it too. I felt their hate, the hyenas must have been a real pressure since I was gone. The fight turned more than positive for us, and so I bit in the last throat that was breathing, ending their brutal lives in some kind of fairness. When the dust went down, only the walkers where left with some smaller wounds, all panting from the fight, but I noticed how proud and kind of happy they where. After taking some breath, I lifted my head, told them to go back and so we went on our way back.
When they walked back faster and faster, the only one who stayd behing with me was Talvi. I walked even more slow now, my front leg hurted like hell, and I started to hobble. There was no real bite wound, and I wondered if it maybe was broken? But maybe it was just the strenuous effort for rather fresh wounds. We kept going and finally came back to the place where I left Hefray. When we reached the place, the walkers where talking wildly about how we killed the hyenas and finally be free from them again.
When I showed up then, followed by Talvi, I heard some nice calls, noticed Hefray who had his eyes opened again and was talking weakened but happy with Melissa and Lee, layd myself then down a tree, shivering a little and licking my front leg which still hurted badly. Just now when the adrenalin went off, I felt the real pain the hyenas left. It was risky to just jump into the fight blindly and alone, but it was worth it, and felt so good.
I lifted my head again after licking my leg, then noticed Lee who talking with Melissa again, then looked over to me and came towards me. I wondered if he wanted to give me some lecture about how stupid it was to risk such fight? I just lifted my ear and looked curious at him as he came to me.

We were falling. I could feel the gravity pulling us down. And it was all my fault. I killed my mate, my little kitty and our unborn child. I looked up to look into Eiris eyes. She was shocked. I wanted to say sorry, wanted to tell her that it was all my fault, as something sharp embraced my back and throwed me over the edge right into Talvi, who was just jumping out a bush.

I grunted. "Talvi?" I turned around as I saw a shadow embracing Eiri and dropping her off very carefully on the ground again. I ran over to her, pushing my nose into her fur, feeling the warmth of her body, the well-known scent and the beating of two hearts. In the corners of my eyes I could see the shadow landing on a near tree and I turned around to it. Just now I could see it was an owl, an "Eagle owl?" I shook my head, concentrating on Eiri again. She was alright.

"Eiri, I'm so sorry...I...I just didn't know what to do. I wasn't thinking right. I...You know Hefray was my best friend, he was like a brother for me, he was..." "Hefray is alive." I turned immediately to Talvi, who was shaking his body. "What?!" "Melissa said he was breathing and then Lex came to help him." I began to smile, couldn't control my feelings. I turned to Eiri. "He...He's alive." I laughed and jumped up, jumping around just like a little child.

"Ehm." I stopped, turning to the eagle owl, who was still sitting in the tree. "I don't wanna interrupt you, but..." "Oh, yeah, sorry. Thank you so much for rescuing us. And Talvi, thank you for looking after us and thank you for being such a soft pillow." I grinned, gotting back my good mood again. "Seriously, thank you." "Enough of this. Where is your leader? Where is Lex?" I was surprised. "Why do you know her name?" "Animals are talking, and I'm listening." I looked down the edge carefully as I heard the sound of paws. Lex was running under us. "There she is, but I guess, it's better to talk to her later. Seems like she's on the hunt."

We made our way back to Hefray and Melissa. Melissa told us about what has happened and Hefray was already conscious.

----

Some time later Lex returned. I stepped over to her. I smiled. "I guess, I don't have to tell you, that it was dangerous fighting them all blind, but I guess, I have to thank you. So, thank you, Lex. Thank you for saving Hefray. You are a good leader." I lowered my head, showing her my respect. "You wont chase us away, wont you?" I got serious now, as it was about the life of my family. She shook her head and I smiled again. "Thanks." I turned around, ready to leave as I saw the eagle owl again. He had followed us all the way and now, in the sunlight, I could better see his body.

He was bigger than a normal eagle owl, grey black, with large claws. I turned back to Lex. "There is someone, who wants to talk to you." I nodded to the owl, who was now jumping down the tree and switched his form. And his human form was really impressiv. He was even bigger then me, black hair, golden eyes. He stepped forward, stopping infront of Lex and bowed. "Hello Lex. I'm here to tell you, that someone followed your track. He is chasing you."

As sad as it was to hear Lex's story, it made me happy that she could talk to me openly about it. It made me wonder if perhaps, one day, I could tell her my story from so long ago... The night was peaceful, but the day after was a stark contrast. If I could use only one word to describe it, I would choose 'mayhem'. I felt everything that day; hatred and bloodlust for the outsiders who eventually paid with their lives, shock from hearing of Hefray's grievous injuries, as well as being flattened by a falling Lee (who seemed to appear out of the sky to me), and the joy of peace, celebrated aptly in the presence of our returning leader, as feisty as ever.

By the end of it, I was also in a bit of pain, perhaps purely from exhaustion, or being slowly ground down by every scratch and bruise I had received during the day. But I couldn't moan, as I saw Lex was hurting too. I offered to carry her on my back, but being the proud leader she was, she politely refused.

I briefly caught up with Nokta and Chester, who had patrolled without me for the past few days, and I had not seen for as long. We did not have time to converse or even greet each other during our seemingly final battle with the outsiders, so it was nice to hear their voices again. Chester had started to grow larger as a bear, and before too long, he would be our most fearsome Guardian, if perhaps the gentlest at heart. Then I saw Melissa tending to Hefray, and my guilt consumed me. I trundled over to them, head bowed. "Melissa, how is he?"

"He's not out of the woods yet. I've been tending his wounds thoroughly, but he still has a fever..." She looked solemn.

I sat next to Hefray, still in his human form thanks to Lex's input. "Hefray, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. As a Guardian, I've failed you..."

He coughed a little, I believe because he was trying to respond to me. It would only hinder his recovery, so I shushed him. "Rest easy, Hefray. Lex, the Guardians and I ensured that these folk paid with their lives. Now..." I stopped.

"...Now... what, Talvi?" Melissa asked, growing curious at my statement's incompletion.

I walked away slowly. "Now we need to find out why they were here in the first place. They had help from the inside, I know it."

"How do you know?"

"...Call it 'instinct'."

I didn't know how to feel. I had nearly died, how was I supposed to feel? Scared. Angry. Elated. Confused. All of these things? I barely registered the next few hours, didn't acknowledge anyone. I wanted to be alone, everyone was making noise, ALWAYS MAKING SO MUCH NOISE. I had to get away. In the midst of the crowds I slipped into the shadows of the trees, my dappled coat allowing me to blend in with the forest. I just needed to be by myself, just for a little while, until I could cope with other people again.

I walked for a while, my thoughts wandering, never focusing on anything for too long. It wasn't too long later that I felt a twinge in my side, an insistent stabbing, which made me stop. I sat down, suddenly panting. The running and other exertions must have tired me more than I thought, so I lay down in a small inlet at the bottom of one of the trees, keeping myself out of sight. The little tweaks of pain in my side continued, they were like cramps, so I continued to assume I had over exerted myself. Or perhaps in my attempts to stop Lee falling and our subsequent tumble through the air I had pulled a muscle? I lifted my head a little, looking at my side, watching the occasional movements from my swollen belly. Despite myself, despite the confusing muddle of emotions, I smiled at that movement, at the proof my baby was still alive and healthy. I wondered what it would be and whether it too shifted forms as I did. It was an interesting thought, but one I was unlikely to find the answer to. With a sigh I lay my head down once more, feeling the painful tweaks beginning to subside.

I would go back soon, but other people are hard to deal with...

What?! I said shocked and jumped up, confusing the others by the reaction.
That... cant be! I travelled for weeks, why would any human follow me that long?!
I dont know, but I watched you and the human in a while, and he is still after you. Maybe he wants someone back for his arena.
Arena? Human? What is he talking of Lex? Melissa asked while stepping more close.
I just shook my head, not sure what to think of anymore.
I... thats... man! Uhm... Talvi, tell them the whole thing, and you falcon, come with me.
I turned around and went into the forest, the falcon man following me, switching to Falcon again and walking on the ground, while I hobbled slowly.
Who are you anyway? And why did you watch me?
My name is Rascal, and I was a stray for a long time, enjoying the freedom wings can give you. But anyway, someday I felt like I need a family finally, a home. So I searched for it, and on my way I stopped in the city with the arena. I watched the whole scene while resting a bit, and then I had seen you. When you lost your consiousness at the water, I even helped you. I washed some of your wounds so they would stop bleeding, I seen your necklace and knew you where a skinwalker...
When he said necklace, my eyes moved to his neck for a moment while he was speaking. My eyes widened for a moment when I seen the white necklace. A windsoul. Could be a good fighter. I looked back to his face then, and again on the path before us.
When you woke up, you seemed weak, so I followed you a little... to see I was wrong. I didnt expect you to stay alive and you even made it here! And so ... straight on your path. I guess you lived here before?
I was born here, I am the leader of the walkers around.
Oh, well then he said with a charming smile and bown his body forward for a moment. It made me snicker.
No need for being that gentleman like. Tell me about the human. Why is he following me?
It´s somehow weird, he was watching you too. I dont know if he is armored, I didnt see any guns or such stuff. He hided a while, drawing, writing while watching you. And when you started your way back home, he got lost for a while, then followed your hard to find tracks, with a backpack and everything a wanderer would usually have. He dont seem dangerous to me but... you never know. I thought I tell you.
Well thanks for that then. Maybe it saves a life.
So now that this is fixed... I wanted to ask for a favor...
Oh theeere the kid is burried... spit it out.
I still havent found a home... but this place seems perfect. Many walkers, save forest, giant area... would you take me in your clan?
Everyone can join it, you just have to show yourself as a nice and helpful walker. There is no big deal. Welcome in. You should go to the others then... they will introduce you instead of me.
Why.. not you? I would be honored to get shown around by the alpha!
No. I will go for the human problem now.
On your own?
Yes. Now fly back. I shoved him away with my snout and began walking to the path I came into the forest on the first day.


It was evening already, but I found my way back. This human was such a... rock directly in my eye! When I would see him, I would end it fast. I stretched my head up to the sky, sniffing. And then I found a scent. Somehow familiar, but still human. I jumped up some rocks, hided myself. Waiting.
It was about an hour, I looked up to the red sky where the sun was nearly gone when I heard steps. I didnt expect the human that fast. I layd down more flat, and watched him from above, how he searched the area for tracks, then seen my paw prints where I just jumped up the rocks, and kind of got lost. He weirdly took a deep breath, then sat down on a fallen tree directly under my hiding spot. He was a young man, maybe just a little older than me. I would have considererd him rather attractive, he was more or less athletic, had nearly black dreads, bound to a braid like I used to have it too. He shoved his backpack around and was going through it, picking some food out. Now it was time. I stood up, some small rocks rolling down, pulling the attention of him to the wall behind him. When he looked up and saw me, I growled. He jumped up shocked, stepped a little backwards, but there wasnt much space between the high rocks within the hills. Then I jumped down, landed in him and make him fall to the ground. The high fall made me do a few more steps, then turned around to him, my fur up straight, showing my teeth and growling badly. As he lifted up I came near a few more steps, not losing eye contact with him as he lifted his hands and tried to cool me down.
Caaalm wolfi, caalm. I dont want to hurt you... Im no daaanger. Keep cool kay? Maybe you want something? Hehe... He thrown his sandwich in my direction, what made me do an other step forward, barking once at him what made him twitch for a moment. Something holded me back. Something about that man... then I shook it off my mind, I jumped forward, attack him. Then something twinkled in my eyes, something that made my attack stop for a moment, and within seconds, without even seing it, the fight turned around and I was pushed backward to the ground, a very big grey wolf leaning over me, showing his teeth. My eyes where wandering between his poison green eyes which where underlayd by darker fur, and his necklace which now dangled on his neck. A red stone. A walker, a firesouled walker!? When I was stuck at his eyes then, something somehow clicked in his mind, he left the snarl and stepped backwards fast, his eyes moving to the ground. I slowly stood up again, totally confused of what just happened. He leaned on the tree he just sat on, I smelled how nervous he was when I stepped forward a little.
You... are a skinwalker. I thought you... where only a man.
Now he lifted his eyes again, looking at me more soft.
You can talk! I knew it... hehe. I found someone. I knew I wasnt alone... and whats... a skinwalker by the way?
You! Ehm I mean, as I am. As we all are. I... still dont get it you found wh... I broke my sentence when he accidentaly shoved a book from the tree, that fell to the ground and opened itself. In it where drawings. From me. I looked between him and the drawings.
You... stalked me?! He jumped forward, switched to human and grabbed the book, closing it and putting it back into his backpack.
No! I... uhm. Thats hard to explain... I seen the arena burn, and later seen you. I wanted to help you, but then you woke up and I feared to touch a wild wolf. But then I seen you switch your body. And then I knew I wasnt alone!
You mean... alone as skinwalker?
Yes! I never showed it to someone, it was said those people are demons, dangerous and should be killed on sight. All believed in a legend, when I knew that I could switch my body. So... when I was old enough I moved out of the city and travelled for a while. I thought I was alone, then I seen you and I just HAD to follow you, maybe finding an answer to my roots!
But I decided it was maybe better to follow you in silence instead of just jumping into your face! I just sat down, listening to what he was saing, still not clear about what was going on.
As I sat down, but didnt switch, he sat down in tailer seat right infront of me, talking wildly. It seemed he got warm now, was such a hyped funny guy.
Well no, you are not alone at all. Im not the only one, you where even watched by an other walker who thought you are a human too. I guess you didnt use your wolf shape often?
Well better saying never. Just in situations like this one, or when I get freezing cold its easiert to switch to something with fur hehe. I feard people could see me switch and then hunt me. I mean... they would?
Oh yes they would! I snarled, surprising him for a moment.
Uhm. So you have no idea of what you are? I mean... your necklace for example.
Huh? Whats with it? My mom said that my dad wanted me to have it, since I got it I never layd it off. Why you asking? You have one too I see!
Well it´s such a long story, but with a red necklace you are... special.
Seriously?! Haha that would be cool to be special finally and not only weird! He, why wont you switch? I just seen your back back then. Would you...
No. For me there is no need to switch. Not anymore. You must know, that most of the walkers live in the wild completly. After the rules, nature gave them. So for example, having a leader, going for hunts, going through mating season, hide infront of the humans... fight for live. You would need to learn that if you want to stay. Especially as firsould... you need to be able to protect yourself from... others. My thought was Damon of course...
So you mean I can stay?! You think your leader will accept me?
Haha oh well she will.
She? Well thats interesting. Maybe I could use my charm on showing my positive sites as walker, which I dont even have haha!
Weeeell... I am the leader. His smile moved for a moment, then he broke out in laugh.
Well then I should finally learn to shut my mouth haha!
You comin?
He nodded, switched to his wolf form, as I thought maybe even for me? and followed me, his backpack between his powerful jaws. It seemed weird to have him walk at me side. I rarely seen a wolf big as him, he was nearly double as big as I was. Bigger than Lee, who I already considered big. If he wouldnt be new with everything, and be such a soft hearted funny guy, he could really have been a danger. But he was all funny, just curious about meeting the others. On our whole way to the center of the territory, I told him nearly everything what was to know about rankings, traditions, hiding from humans... I wondered his head wouldnt explode, but he was like a sponge in collecting informations. Just my own story and why I was in the city back then, I kept for myself.
When we finally reached the center of the territory, the meeting place, the sun was already up again and I laid down on my rock to rest a little. He just sat down beside me, like if he could travel the whole way again without even getting tired.
I layd there no minute, when I heard Talvi and Lee.
Lex! We have been searching for you! You cant just go to find a human you dont know anything off! It could have been dang... uh, who is this? he said rather surprised of the new guys appearance.
Wow, more walkers! How cool is that?
Thats... the human. His name is Nigel and he is new to... skinwalkers. Well that seems interesting doesnt it?
I lifted myself up again, when Damon came out of the woods where the both just came from.
Hello Damon.
Another wolf, ha. I have seen more walkers in minutes than in my whole life!
You take a KID here? And a new firesoul too? We are enough firewalkers, taking in more will cause trouble! You should remove him!
Who would cause trouble because of him? I mean except you Damon... He growled for a moment, then stepped infront of the giant wolf. He now new he was new as walker, couldnt fight as he could. Else he wouldnt have donw it this way seeing him as an hard opponent.
I say he must go. He had his face right infront of Nigel, his eyes glaring badly. I felt Nigel felt uncomfortable with such a wild one as Damon, but he didnt step back, he just stayd where he was. Brave man I thought, stood up and shoved myself between Damon and Nigel.
Everyone can stay as long as they dont make up trouble. Forgot that Damon? He snarled once more, left it then, I moved till he was gone.
Huff... hot temper that guy has!
Yeah but you need to protect yourself if you want to stay. I said with my eyes still following Damons tracks a little, till Nigel layd his paw on my back.
Im all open for the lessons, big master! Haha! I just shook myself, pinched him a little in the flank and layd down again, waving Lee and Talvi away with the head, showing all was find. It was a nice thing to know, that someone feared I could hurt myself.
By the way Nigel, I think your father was walker too if he gave you the necklace.
Yeah maybe, I never met him, he died before I was even born. Why not my mother too?
Well maybe. Though the chance two same blooded walkers can meet outside this area, is low. You must know, only same breed walkers, can make walker babys.
Uuuh... I think I dont got that one.
When a wolf walker, and a wolf walker have a baby, it becomes a walker. If a wolf walker and a bear walker get a baby, it wont be a walker. Now got it? Watched it while my whole time living here. Somehow hard, but thats how its done by nature. I think the chance is low that your parents where both wolves, its hard to even meet any walker outside of this area! How was it anway... I kept chatting with Nigel, it was somehow nice to teach someone about the walkers what made me think again of how great creatures we where. What I didnt notice, was that while the baby talk Lee was still near enough to hear it, and if he was happy or not about what he heard, I wouldnt know for that moment.

I shivered. Lex words made me feel like being palsied. I followed Talvi. We went through the forest, back the way we came here. He was talking about something, but I wasn't really listening. I was distracted, sad, somehow aggressiv. She can't be right. How would Nigel have been born, when it's nearly impossible to find the same walker breed outside this territory? Thoughtfully I walked on. "...that's why." I turned to Talvi. "Ehh...sorry, what have you just said?" I tried to clear my mind, concentrating on Talvi to listen to his story. "I thought they might have had help from the inside." "The hyenas?" He nodded. "You might be right." My thought already returned to Lex' words. "Maybe I can help you find the insider. Let's meet tomorrow, ok?" My feelings turned round and round, I just didn't know what to think about. My necklace was...pulsating? I looked down to the white stone and it stopped. I shook my head, maybe I was just hallucinating.

I went back home, sitting down on the bed and watched out the window. The trees were moving slowly, it was getting colder outside. I cogitated about walker-kids and their parents. Was it really impossible? The sun set, it was getting dark outside. Eiri still didn't return, but somehow I could feel her and I knew she was alright, they were alright.

I thought about humans in walker territory and about the things that happened to Chuck and Lex. Later Eiri returned. We layed down on the bed together  and I told her about Lex' words. We were talking about it for a short time, till Eiri fell asleep. I was still thinking about our future as I finally fell asleep and a dream came over my mind.

I was watching a scene in a nice small house from above. Me and Eiri were sitting at a small table, both a child on our knees. Suddenly my mother appeared next to me, watching the scene with me together."She is beautiful." My mother was nodding to Eiri. I smiled. "Yes, she is." Hefray was leaning against a cupboard, chatting with my other "me". Eiri was talking to Melissa, who sat on a couch and she was pregnant. But the father of her child wasn't there. Eventhough I didn't know it, I felt that it wasn't Hefray. It was somehow frightening to see oneself living a life. My eyes went back to my other self and Eiri. My necklace was pink. The boy, sitting on Eiri's knees, had a red necklace, a small paw. The girl, sitting on my knees, had white necklace, a small sakura. I smiled, seeing myself with children, our children. I could feel the warmth of my mother. As I looked over to her, I could see her necklace was destroyed, her body was lacerated, but still I could feel her lovely character.

"Mummy..." My head turned back to the girl, who was now speaking. "Can we have an ice cream?" The two children looked at Eiri with big eyes. "You already had one today." The two made a pouty lip, but Eiri shooked her head. Then the kids turned to my other self. "Daddy?" "Mummy, said no." But I smiled and nodded to the door. The two jumped about, switching forms. The boy turned into a nearly white jaguar with green eyes. Only some weak, grey, round markings were barely visible. The girl turned into a blonde wolf with blue eyes. Her fur was crossed with some nearly black highlights. The small pups ran to the door and nearly knocked down a man, who just entered the house. He greeted us and went over to Melissa, giving her a kiss. This was the father of her child. Somehow his movings seemed familiar, but I just couldn't tell who he was. I turned to my mother. "Am I really this soft and will really allow my children everything?" She smiled warm. "We make an exception today." She smiled and winked and then her illusion disappeared.

"Exception". The word echoed through the dream as I opened my eyes. My view stopped at Eirir bracelet, I gave her some time ago. The fragment of my mothers necklace glowed. I whispered. "Exception."

Eiri woke up and I told her about my dream and about a possible exception. "Who says we couldn't get a small kitty or a small pup or even both?" I pulled her into my arms. "There are exceptions everywhere. Walkers, who aren't acting like their soulcolour. Human, who fell in love with the alpha of the walkers. So, why not? Who knows whether Lex is right? Maybe there is an exception." I sighed. "I'm just worried about the life of our child."

----

I met up with Talvi the next morning. "Everythings fine?" I told him about my dream and the hope I finally got.

But Talvi was doubtful. It told him, I would believe in exceptions and I would believe in wonders.

"I will love my child, whether it be human or walker, but the other walkers might think different about humans. Tell me, what happens to humans living with walkers? What happens to human, whose parents are walkers? What happens to, as Lex would say, a faithless and unreliable human, knowing about the secret of the walkers? And he will know about it, if he grows up with walkers. What should a human do? He can't train with the walkers and he can't go to a normal human school, as he could reveal the secret there. So tell me Talvi, what happens to a human in our territory, aspecially now that Lex hates humans more than everything else? It has not even worked with Chuck...so, why are we not killed or chased immediately? 'Cause this is our faith, isn't it?" I looked into Talvis eyes, desperate from fear about my family. A rustle came from a bush. "Or is this already your order?"

As I was asked by Lex, I informed Rascal of her situation, though I did not delve into much detail. To share such a personal story, having being trusted with the information by our own alpha? It didn't feel right. In fact, it burned at every fibre of my being. So I kept it short and sweet. She left with a friend, she was taken and abused by the humans, and escaped during a fire. I could see in the eagle owl's eyes that he didn't believe I was being completely open, and I wondered if he would question me there and then. He had an adorable confidence in himself. I, however, was not in the mood to share, so I said no more of the matter.

That night, I thought about Lex again, this time after she brought Nigel back. Another Firesoul. The amount of Firesouls in our pack was increasing, and I had the horrible feeling that there would be severe conflict. Damon had already expressed his disliking in this boy (naturally), and he would no doubt use this to distort the balance of power to his favour. Another thing that worried me was Lee. He seemed really bothered by something... maybe Nigel's appearance? Either way, it was clearly distracting him, I only hoped that whatever the issue was, it could be resolved.

----

I woke up back at Lex's house, though I don't necessarily remember arriving there last night. Although she had said she had no use for it, I wanted to keep it more or less the way she left it, in case she changed her mind. It was very early in the morning; the sun still hadn't risen over the horizon yet, so I rallied my Guardians and we did an early morning patrol. It was nice to get back into a routine, but the real reason was to look for clues in regards to my hypothesis. After we had finished, the sun was up, so I went to meet Lee.

I asked him if he was well, and he nodded, but his eyes betrayed his real feelings. Me must have noticed that I was sceptical, because he opened up. He made some good points about his child, and the 'culture' of this pack, but one thing branded itself into my brain. One word. "Order". And that really got my attention. Of course, if he was worried about Lex, he would be worried about me, as I am loyal to her. "Lee..."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Lee, I have no orders, for I am not a soldier. I am a Guardian, a protector. I have no interest in driving anybody out of this pack, believe me." I sighed. "Do you remember when Damon came knocking, demanding that Selar left?" He nodded. "I care about my friends. I always have. And I would never betray my loyalties, I would die first. I am not going to let anyone hurt you, Eirian, your child, Selar, Lex, Melissa, Hefray, or anybody else, much less drive you out. Exile is the worst thing any walker can experience."

Lee looked taken back by what I'd said, though of what I was not sure. "You're thinking about Nigel, aren't you? And you're right to do so. How he became a walker outside of a pack, I have no idea either, but there must be an exception to allow him to exist, surely." Again I received a look of surprise. Was it something I said? I cleared my throat and changed the subject. "I'm not going to lie to you Lee, Nigel's presence makes me worried for our future. Another Firesoul? So that's five that I know of now. Myself, Hefray, Lex, Damon, and this new guy, Nigel. And even worse; we're all wolves. Though I have no interest in toppling the pecking order here, I think that somebody might try, and maybe already has. One thing I have learnt is that in a battle of Firesouls, the cruelest one will prevail."

"How do you know that?" Lee asked me.

"Because..." I closed my eyes, surely with pain in my expression, but now was the right time to say. Somebody had to know. "Because once, I lost that battle. To my brother, of all people."

In that moment, the silence in the air seemed unnatural.

"My father died protecting me in a pack battle with a rival group of walkers. I got my revenge, but... knowing that I could've fought that bastard off... that I could've saved Dad's life if I'd been stubborn enough to defy him..." My ears drooped. Every word I said out loud felt like another knife in my heart. But I had started my story, so I had to finish it. "My twin brother Ragnar and I are identical in every way except for eye colour. He has red eyes like my father, I have blue like my mother. He was upset when he heard that father had chosen me over him to take his place as alpha, so he must've used our near identical looks to break the integral rule of our pack... Never kill a human in cold-blood. The corpse was planted near my resting place, and I was framed for the murder. I tried to convince the pack that I had not, but they wouldn't listen. They said I was 'crazy', and the 'trauma' of Father's death sent me into a 'fugue state' which caused me to kill the poor hiker. That's right, Lee. He was a hiker, no older than I. They gave me a choice, leave or die. I..." A lump entered my throat, causing an awkward pause. "...I used to think that dying would've been the better choice."

I looked at Lee, but I don't know what I saw in his face. Granted, it was a lot of information to process. "You're... the first person I've told this. Not even Lex knows." I chuckled a little, then raised my head high. "So, I've decided that I'm not going to let anyone suffer the same fate. No matter what."

Upon reflection, that had to be the most open I'd ever been to anyone.

As I lay in Lee's arms, I thought about the dream he had explained to me. I knew I would not care if my child was a walker or not, I would love them nonetheless, but I did worry about their acceptance into my world. Lex did not trust humans, nor did most of the others, for that I could not blame them - given my past, I knew how horrific the human race could be - but I did not want to abandon my child or have them ostracized for their birth race, that was not fair. Perhaps Lex was right, that two different species of walker could not have a walker baby, but perhaps she was mistaken and it was just a very rare occurrence when a skinwalker baby was produced from two different parents? I could not know. I tilted my head up to Lee, kissing him lightly on the cheek.
"Do not worry too much. We will deal with whatever hand life has dealt us when the baby is born."

When Lee left the house to meet Talvi I remained in bed for a while longer. I felt tired, so very tired. The last few days had really hit me hard and for a few moments I was concerned for how it might affect the baby's health, but as I lay my hand upon the bump and felt the now familiar kicking I relaxed. Now my mind was left to wander to other points; what would life be like now Lex had returned? What had caused her injuries (having left the area before her story was told, I was still unaware of the details) and how did she feel about them? My gaze turned to my own battered and scarred arm, of the skin I still wished to hide from all. What would I tell my child in future, how would I explain all these marks? Had the others told Lex of my violent episodes? Was I even safe to be around? My mind began to whirl, so I took a long, deep breath, calming myself before I began to panic. It would do me no good to lay here and worry, so I carefully moved myself out of bed, clothed myself and walked downstairs to find some food. Now that I thought about it, I was starving. As I made my way into the kitchen I felt a small twinge of sadness. Whether it was right or not, I missed Selar, I wanted him to be back in the house, but at the same time I knew he wished to spend time with Lex, so I had not mentioned it to him. I shook off the feeling, making myself busy with preparing food.

Just as I was finishing off my food, a light prickling of nervousness began at the back of my neck, my hairs standing on end. Instinctively, I knew someone was nearby, sneaking around. Slowly I got to my feet, setting my plate aside as quietly as I could before shifting, knowing how I could be silent upon my paws. As I made my way towards the back of the house, I heard the back door open and I silently cursed myself for not making sure it was locked. Slinking my way closer, I finally caught the scent of who had invaded my home. It enraged me. Leaping round the corner I roared, showing I was not afraid. Damon rolled his eyes,  
"Calm it down cat. I'm not interested in hurting you right now, or your freak of a child."
I snarled then, furious at his casual insults directed at my unborn baby. I made a move towards him, ears flat, eyes slit and dangerous, but he tutted, waving a finger at me.
"Ah ah ah, little kitty cat. I wouldn't do that if I were you, after all, we wouldn't want any.. harm to come to your little demon now would we?"
I stopped in my tracks. Suddenly very, very aware of how large and vulnerable my belly was, how easily my child could be hurt. I backed away, causing Damon to smile broadly, smugly.
"That's better. Now, I'm here to tell you something. We cannot have a human in our midst. That thing you carry will not be a walker, given that you and your precious little mate are of two different species. Even if Lex lets you stay, do you think the others will accept you or that thing as it grows up? I, personally, couldn't care less what they do to you, but I'm giving you this chance to leave, while you still can because, believe me, if you stay and I get the chance.. I will do everything in my power to make sure they all hate you."
Now he glared at me. I could see the hatred in his eyes and I wondered why he harboured such a strong distaste of me, even from the moment I had first arrived here. For a few moments we held each others gaze and, to my surprise, he broke the eye contact first, backing away toward the still-open door. I tracked his movements carefully, ready in case he decided to turn on me. But soon he was out of the door. He turned his gaze on me a moment more,
"Maybe this will teach you to fall in love with one such as he."


With that, he turned, ran and was gone. As soon as he was out of sight I shifted back to my human form, ran to the door, closed and locked it, before turning my back against the wood and sliding down to the floor. My heart was racing, my breathing laboured, I felt like I wanted to cry, but I was still so angry. The further the pregnancy got, the more my emotions were in turmoil. Damon's arrival had shaken me badly, but his last sentence, it didn't make any sense. I was so confused. I brought my knees up to my chest and lay my forehead against them.

It was weird, but I felt very comfortable with Nigel around. He was funny and could make me laugh what I havent done in weeks. He made me forget of what just happened with Chuck, what I didnt even managed on my own. We spend so much talking time, he was like drinking the informations about walkers which left my mouth. He seemed like he wants to stay forever, but at the other hand, still hanging on his human part, willing to take trips. I did it too... before the arena happened and I lost my trust in humans forever.
We spend the whole day, and on the next one, he was still like a glued leaf on my fur and so we walked the borders and terriotory a little.
In the early morning, I also teached him some basics of fighting, though he would need it. But I was surprised by the skill he showed, it was like he had an photographic memory, everything I did, he could do again as good. When we kept walking the area, we stopped when we heard some noises. Talking. When we came there, we stayd hidden, I found Talvi and Lee chatting. I wanted to step forward, when Talvi began to talk about his past. And something stopped me. I waited till he ended... I breathed in once more, then showed myself out of the bushes, Nigel keeping a bit distance, though he felt this wasnt his business.
You mean I didnt KNEW. They both turned around surprised, and when I looked over from Lee to Talvi, I seen the pure horror in his eyes.
Oh boy, boy boy... I said, softly shaking my head and walking nearer to him. As I came close, he even made one step back and I wondered what he expected. I stopped for a moment, lifted an eyebrow till he did the one step forward again, then I came closer again till I was right infront of him.
I nearyl felt how his nervous shaking was rumbling the ground and when I was face to face to him he lowered his head a little. When the eye contact broke up then, I stepped one step more close and pressed my forehead against his. I felt how he shook for a moment, then was like nailed to the ground, fixed, strain gone.
It´s like I once said. The past doesnt matter, what counts is the present. And I would rather like a dozen of loyal guardians like you, instead of one... lets say trouble maker like Damon! Hehe. I stepped a little back again, Talvi lifted his head again. I swear I could hear his heart beating still. I rarley seen him that nervous, now he cooled down again. Then I turned to Lee.
And Lee... there wont be an exception. Your baby will be a human, no matter what.
Wh... you cant know that! he said rather loud.
Lee I seen it my whole life. There rarely where pairs like you and Eiri, mostly all where same breed. And WHEN there where different breeded couples, all their babys became humans. Cant you live with a human baby too?
You question me loving my child?! I shook my head, trying to cool him down, be it seems like I found his touchy point, especially me talking about it.
There can always be exceptions! And what happened to the human kids?! I never heard of them!
Thats because they where given away as babys to human parents, or even banished if the parents didnt do it of free will, mostly the parents left the country after that.
You... you are not gonna touch my baby! he shouted angrily at me. I lifted my bobtail up, making him notice who he was talking to, but he was nearly outraged, he saw his child in danger through me.
I wasnt leader before this happened! It wasnt my choice to shove those kids away! It didnt ever happen since I was on leadership, walkers looked out to only get same breeded partners so it wouldnt happen to them! I didnt thought of you and Eiri having a kid one day!
You said you wont chase us away! If you want my childs death, I will fight for it!
Guuh calm down! Noones wants anyones death! I dont even know if a human kid, couldnt be rased as a walker too! Maybe making humans like the walkers kids know that good of us, it could be a step to bring peace between walkers and humans.
Oh come on, you hate humans! You wouldnt accept them here!
Thats not true! I gave them enough chances, and they failed me! We where talking of harmless kids, not of grown up, bloody minded humans! Every kid can be raised good!
You wouldnt let us raise a kid!
The whole verbal fight between me and Lee kept on, we grew louder and louder, more snarling coming into our voices. I tried to stay as calm as I could, I saw it as a good manner basement, showing myself as a good alpha especially now Nigel was watching. But Lee wouldnt even listen to me, he though I wanted to take his kid! It was like he was driven crazy! I couldnt know how confused he felt by his own, how hard it had to accept a human baby while being a walker. I just couldnt, so I raged myself up in the discussion too. Talvi who was the third wheel in this conversation, wanted to brake in more than once, he saw the situation more clear, got my message of giving a human kid a try... but there  was no way for him.
Why dont you just go and kill some humans, like you wanted to kill him too?! he nodded over to Nigel.
Why dont you just shut your fucking mouth?! What would you know about me?! You dare to judge over me and my actions?! I wanted to give the human people a chance, but all I deserved was a carnage! And not even once! I want to give you a chance and you do it like those humans too?! You judge me?! You want to attack me?! Go on and do it like  the humans too! Be one of them! Maybe you understand then what it means to be betrayed! AND THAT NOT EVEN ONCE! With every of those words I stepped more near, plushing myself up, showing my teeth and totally shouting the shit out of everybody. He finally went silent for a moment, if it was for respect of my appearance, or because he didnt knew what else to say, I didnt knew.
But I was nearly going to rip someones face off, so for not doing anything bad, I turned around and ran away. I even left Nigel behind who seemed lost between the two nearly unknown wolves.
I just ran. He ruined the whole time I had fun again, made everything that happened within the last weeks come up again. If he knew it or not, but some of Lees words really hit me inside and while running I felt how a tear ran through my fur. When I finally reached a bigger water flow, I slowed down. There was a stone set over the water, the place nearly surrounded by trees and bushes. I jumped up the stone and layd down there, looking down into the water where my face was mirrored in it. I had to close my eyes, I didnt want to see myself anymore. Feeling alone on this place, I just let go and cried silently for a while. I knew again, why I didnt want to live anymore after the ending of the arena.

After Talvi finished his story, I smiled gently. "Thank you for trusting me so much to tell me this.", as Lex jumped out a bush, Nigel right behind her, and the party began.

My feelings were growing, so did my anger. I felt like I was being pushed in a direction I don't want to go. I didn't want to be controlled by anyone. And then Lex left and somehow, I felt sorry for her. This seemed to be a big deal for her too. I sighed, looking over to Talvi, who seemed rather torn.

"What has happened?" Melissa jumped out a bush, pushing the really big Nigel to the side. I sighed. "Long story." I began to tell her about Lex theory, concerning walkers reproduction, about my dream and about the conflict with Lex. She looked at me bewildered. "I'm pregnant?" I opened my eyes wide. "Is THIS really the only thing that interests you?" She shrugged her shoulders and I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. I will fight for you child as good as I can. I will help to protect you all. And so will Hefray." "Tha..." Suddenly a bad feeling came over me, a feeling something has happened.

I began to run, running into the forest, back to our house, leaving Talvi, Melissa and Nigel back. I ran as quick as I could and as I reached the borders of our property, I got the track of Damon. I growled, running fast now. I nearly crushed the frontdoor, screaming for Eiri. I found her leaning against the backdoor. I pulled her into my arms, happy to see her alright. "What has happened? Was Damon here?" She nodded, looking up to me. "He said, he will give me the chance to leave..." I sighed. "And I had a confrontation with Lex." I sat down next to her, leaning against the door too and she told me about Damons "visit", before I told her about the conflict with Lex. Then I looked into her eyes.  Someone like me...?? Damons words made me think. What did he mean? "Tell me Eiri, what shall we do now?"

I hadn't stopped trembling. I simply couldn't stop trembling. Initially, it was shock, then it was anxiety, but now? It was white-hot rage, boiling away at the 'cold-hearted' appearance of my exterior. My eyes were wide, and I'm sure my pupils were nothing but tiny dots. I could feel my jaw grinding, and the first tell-tale drop of blood crawl out of one nostril of my snout, a blatant sign of my current distress. 'The past doesn't matter'... why didn't it matter? Did it not matter that I was wronged? Did it not matter that I was disgraced, stripped of my pride and forced from my home? Did I deserve it?! No! I had always dedicated myself to the wellbeing of my friends, my family, and I had ALWAYS put them first! And I was betrayed! You don't understand what it's like to be betrayed!

...That was the last thing that Lex said, too. And that was what brought my emotions full-circle.

"Talvi, you're bleeding..."

Melissa's voice brought me back to my senses, and immediately, I pushed all my emotions to the back of my mind. It was tough, but I managed it. "...It's nothing, honest." I gestured my head between both of the wolves in a hastened introduction. "Nigel, this is Melissa. Melissa, Nigel."

After a quick exchange of words, I hurriedly explained my plan of action. "We need to go and find Lex, maybe we can help her calm down. You should both come with me."

"Both of us? Are you sure you don't want me to take Nigel back to the other walkers?" Melissa asked.

"Nigel is still new to this territory. It would be best to allow Lex to go through the integration proceedings. As for you, Melissa... I'm not leaving you to it, not after last time."

"Aww, are you feeling guilty or something?" she replied. I couldn't tell if she was jesting, or being serious, but the answer was the same regardless. "Yes, I am. Now come on, we need to move."

I took the lead, which had become second nature to me since my appointment as a Guardian. And as I followed the faint trail of Lex's scent (she was still as quick as ever on home turf), I was not planning on slowing down. The wind rushed past my ears, giving me an alternate thing to listen to, as opposed to the echoes of Lex's words. I should've seen this coming, but I was surprised to hear Nigel talk to me.

"So, what happened in the past that you didn't tell Lex?"

Oh, that really flipped a switch. If it hadn't been for Melissa jumping in to defend me with her words, I might not have been able to stop myself from doing something... stupid. "Kind of personal to ask that, don't you think? Though, I would be interested to hear it, too..."

I sighed, knowing that conflict at this moment in time would not get us anywhere. "If you both still want to know after we find Lex, then you can either ask Lee, or wait until I'm ready to open up again." Though I doubt I ever will... I thought the last bit to myself.

As the light began to fade, we homed in on Lex's whereabouts. I could smell her, she was definitely nearby, but I couldn't see her. Even with my keen eyes, the mix of sunset and shadows made it hard to see through the dense forestry; the contrast in light was too great. I would've found it easier to see if it were pitch-black. Nonetheless, I noticed a shadowy figure move from within the confinement of the tree-line. I called out; it had to be her. "Lex! Please, wait up! I just want to talk! I... want to apologise... for not telling you... sooner..." I felt my voice fail me. There was no anger any more, not even confusion... Only sadness remained.

(I am so very sorry this took so long, I haven't been able to get on a computer hardly at all this week)

I shook my head at Lee's question,
"I do not know.."
I leant my head against his chest,
"But what I do know, is I want us to get through this together. As long as you are with me, I think we'll be ok."
I smiled as best I could, trying to make not only Lee feel better about the situation, but myself as well. For a few more moments, we stayed together by the door, until I slowly pushed myself to my feet, placing my hand lightly against Lee's cheek as I did so. I wanted to get out for a little while, it wasn't his fault, but I found I couldn't stay inside for too long without feeling edgy (especially given Damon's intrusion).
"I'm just going to take a little walk, get out of the house for a while, think about things, I don't want to feel so scared I won't even venture outside, you know?"
I tried to put on a brave face, though I couldn't be sure how much Lee believed my attempts at courage. Regardless, I straightened myself up, kissed him on the forehead and walked toward the front door.
"I won't be long."

My slow walk through the forest was relaxing, allowing me to collect my thoughts. Just as I had decided to turn back, I noticed a lone figure upon a rock. I hid myself, shy of the figure, even when I realised it was Lex. I thought it best to leave her be, considering the argument she and Lee had recently, but just as I was about to turn away, I noticed the streaks of wet fur upon her face.
Has she been crying..?
Now I was torn. Leaving her now felt wrong, given her current state - she just seemed so sad - but given her independent personality, she might not appreciate the company.
Especially not my company.
I thought bitterly. For a moment I closed my eyes, debating what I should do. A few seconds later, I sighed and padded my way toward the rock, having made my decision. As I watched Lex, I saw her ear move in my direction, her eyes looking at me for a moment, but soon looked back to the water before her. She didn't acknowledge me. Undeterred, I spoke up,

"If it's any consolation, I know how it feels...
My hand travelled to my face, touching the prominent scarring there. Then I turned my back to her, letting my shirt fall from my shoulders to show the scars criss-crossing my body, marks of long-ago lashes from whips, healed wounds of many a battle from long ago. I then moved round, so I could once again look at her.
"You are one of the strongest people I know Lex, but it's okay to feel hurt and sad sometimes, to let that show. You have survived all the hardships life has thrown at you, the scars are proof of that, but it does not mean you have to hide your pain, or pretend it doesn't hurt you. Your appearance has been forever changed, that isn't something that's easy to get used to. Then of course, there's the emotional scars..."
I paused a moment, placing my hand behind my head, a small, faint laugh escaping me,
"Though, I guess I'm not the best to be giving advice, look at me, I hide away, can barely show myself to the people I know, let alone new people. Feel free not to listen to me."
Lex finally looked at me and I wondered if she might speak, but then another voice broke through the relative quiet of the forest before she could do so,

"Lex! Please, wait up! I just want to talk! I... want to apologise... for not telling you... sooner..."
The sound of Talvi's voice made me look up suddenly, ears swiveling atop my head. I looked to Lex for a moment, before turning and bounding back into the trees; I stopped to look over my shoulder at her one more time, before I headed for home.

As she was gone I stretched myself a little more, silently snarling before Talvi shown up infront of me and repeated his excuses. Then more he said, then more I turned angry and began snarling at him, moving myself up again.
Why wont you get it?! I dont care of what happened back in your time! It may be sad you where fooled, lived through it too! But you could have been a murderer, you would get a second chance here! This lands are about finding a new beginning, why dont you just forget what happened, and live in the present! There is noone of your past here, only us! Trust into the right walkers and that wont happen again! Arent you happy here? I jumped forward, off the rock and snapped after him, not willed to catch him but just to make him wake up. I kept growling and plushed my fur up, staring at him with wild eyes, him rather shocked.
Dont you like your place as guard leader? Isnt it enough? Why do you all just keep staying in the past! Live here and now! God damn!
I think you should cool down now... just a little you know...
Oh shut up Nigel! Talvi if you keep staying in the past, it will kill you one day! It will eat you from inside, you hear me?!
It´s not hard to hear you the way you shout... Nigel is right keep... calm.
Calm?! What for? Everyone of you is just ignoring me! My advices, my orders, no matter what! I really need to listen to a pregnant cat girl with some scars, telling me about life while being just a scar myself?!
Oh so thats your problem. Your scars... well you dont need them to be beauti...
Shut it! I snapped at him when he came more near, trying to bring me down.
I never cared about scars! They are just part of the body! I just cant understand why everyone keeps being so ignorant! Look at Lee, I told him the damn child could stay, they could try to raise him here, not like it was done before! And he?! He ignores me, wont even listen! I guess he havent even listened to one single word I said! Why did I even return?!
Because you are the leader. I shook my head and sighed, my fur slowly moving down again.
If you want to, I could talk to him. At least I... where there too right? I heard what you said.
Yah. Do so. Maybe you... take Nigel with you. I need some sleep. The journey still lies in my bones.
He nodded, waved his head to make Nigel follow him. He seemed rather unpleased to follow Talvi and lifted his voice again.
Uhm, you sure I shall go with him? I would like to stay with you, I wont be loud I promise. You can sleep when Im around, I could draw in that time, thats silent!
I just wanted to accept it, when Talvi grabbed his ear and pulled him off. I snickered. Maybe it was better this way as when I would have accepted it.
When they where gone, I layd on the rock again, the sun softly warming my fur. When I was nearly falling asleep, I heard steps.
*sigh* Am I never going to get some sleep?
When I lifted my head, it was Damon.
Sorry to interrupt your nap.
Dont lie. What do you want?
I wanted to talk with you. About or wolf and cat pair. You know they will have a human child.
Of course I know. So?
You know the child cant stay. Children are weak, and their tongues are even more weak. It will talk about us, around humans and then our safety is gone! So what will you do?
I said they could raise it.
So you banish them?
No.
But that would mean they stay WITH the child? Thats not possible!
Noone ever tested it. Maybe it will work. But it will still need a while till it´s born and I dont want to think of it now.
So that means the idea of banishing them or the child is still an open option?
No Damon.
Why not?!
Gosh, whats your problem with them?!
What is YOUR problem? You shouldnt have gotten back your leadership, seriously! Since you are back, you turned weak!
Say that once more and I will rip off your face! Im strong as before, you know that! Who killed the damn hyenas anyway? You?! You couldnt evene manage THEM! How would you lead a whole pack? A land full of walkers!
I did, and it worked just fine!
No what you did, was clearing the ones out who seemed weak to you!
Why should I keep walkers in the clan who cant even fight?! Like this giant baby!
Nigel? He didnt fight before, because there was no need. He already learned a lot... but that isnt even about the point! What is this discussion about anyway?!
About you not being able to lead! I should just take back my leadership now!
You sure would need to fight me then, coward!
And with that words he jumped up and a raging fight began. For a moment I saw a bird fly away, maybe even a walker who watched the scene, but I was busy fighting Damon, puting him back into his place. He always been such a bull-head but it seemed he would keep trying to win against me till the very end. As before, I was better in fighting than him, but we both got enough wounds in that fight, when a grey body jumped between us, pulling Damon away, grabbing him in the neck and throwing him to the ground.
When my view got clearer, it was Nigel, who snarled badly at Damon.
Get your damn ass away from here! But Damon was still angry, snapped after his throat and got into a fight with Nigel instead. To bring it clear, I jumped in again, now three wolves fighting. When Nigel then grabbed him again, he pushed him at a stone, his full weight on him. When Damon whimpered then, he let go off him.
Move it Damon! Go to the city or elsewhere! I dont want to see your face in a while! GO! Finally he jumped off.
When he was gone, Nigel and me let go of our muscles, heads hanging tiredly, still catching for air. I turned around and walked to the little waterstream when Nigel came to me, also still out of air.
I heard a owl walker talk about fights, and when I came here I heard you two. Are you hurt?
Not really. Just some more scars, what else? Tehe. Hey, you are bleeding. Nigel maybe earnt his first wounds ever, three deep scratches on his left leg.
Huh? Oh didnt even notice. Well my first scars right? Maybe I try to redo you? Hehe.
I hope not! When you care for the wounds, maybe they will not be visible after a while. Come here.
I layd down at the stream on my knees, when I switched body to human and he did too, sitting the same way as I did, I grabbed his shirt at the ground and ripped of a stripe before putting it into the water and bend it around his arm.
That will keep it cool for now and dirt off.
Thanks, why didnt you do it on your wounds?
Would it make any difference?
You know... I dont believe your speech about not caring for the scars, why wouldnt you like it to switch to human then. And why... arent you looking at me straight now but looking down? You dont want to show it, but you know...
I was a little surprised when he shoved himself forward and grabbed my face with his hands, calm and soft. He turned me to his face, looking me into the eyes, where I got caught for a moment from the poison green eyes.
...I think your outer look doesnt matter. I rarely seen someone like you. And as far as I seen it... you are a good leader. I turned my eyes away for a moment, when I looked back, he still stared at me with that warm smile. I just had to smile back and thanked him. Some warm words really felt good. I judt didnt know why it where his words, which pleased me that much.
We stayd like that for a while, then he turned forward and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaning side wards and washing himself a little off the dirt from the fight.
In that time I switched back to wolf again, jumped up the stone and layd down. When Nigel was done, he switched back too, shoke his fur and jumped up too.
He came near a little with head down, tipical check up if I was accepting him on my place. When I stayd there, he came nearer, layd down behind me and pushed his fur at mine. When I layd down my head on the warm stone then, the sun still warming, it didnt take long till I felt asleep.

(Somebody interested in a second rp? I open a fantasy-thread after I finnished this post, with dragon like characters^^ Feel free to write there too)

(Talvi, I guess it would be best if we would swap for this round. So you can write next and I will write after you if it's ok.)

(No worries Feya :3)

I left Lex with a now familiar feeling in my stomach, the feeling of total worthlessness. I don't think she had meant any harm in what she'd said to me, as Lex was not that type of person. No amount of scars or trauma could change that. But being told that my past didn't matter, as correct as it may have been, made me burn inside. It was like a bad joke; a firesoul with a burning soul.

As I practically dragged Nigel by the ear away from his new 'interest', he did struggle a little, even gnashing at my face in refusal to obey. I wasn't in the mood for his audacity, so I dragged him to the ground, pinning him carefully, but effectively. "Please, newbie, I don't have time for this, and I sure as hell am not in the mood for it either. Now be a good boy, follow me and leave Lex alone, got it?" He pouted, but I let him up regardless. I wasn't here to beat the kid up, I just needed him to listen to me, for his sake. I was sure that Melissa might've stopped me, perhaps told me that I was a jerk, but I hadn't heard a word from her since we spoke to Lex. Was she okay? But before I could ask, I heard something... a very slight rustle in the undergrowth. I paused, as did Melissa. After a moment, I sighed. "Whatever it was, it's gone... Nigel?"

He had turned tail and bolted back to Lex's location. I wanted to chase him, but I suddenly lost motivation. He'll learn eventually, I thought. So now it was just the two of us on the melancholic trundle to Lee's house. I had stayed silent most of the way. It was awkward. I wanted to speak to Melissa, but I didn't know what to say. As we arrived at Lee's veranda, we both disposed of our wolven guises. I wondered what I should say to Lee...

(Sorry it's a small one... and thanks for the heads up Sky :3)

(Just to throw it in here, Nigel is even older than Lex ;3)

I sighed. The house was so quite, so empty, after Eiri had left. I stepped to the couch, hoping to find some sleep. But all I got was this dream again.

Someone knocked on the door and I finally woke up. Sad, that the dream end, but also happy that I got some sleep.

I opened the door. Talvi and Melissa were standing there, not feeling comfortable with eachother. I looked from one to the other. "What's up?" Melissa looked over to Talvi, then back to me, shrugging her shoulders. "Come in." I pointed to the kitchen, were we were sitting down at the table. The wind was blowing around the house. "Lee..." I shook my head. "It's alright. I know, I acted too emotionally. But I don't wanna talk about it. But, please, understand my point of view, too." And then they remained quiet again. "Oh come on, what's up?"


(Sorry, for the short post )

As I made my way home, I had some time to let my mind wander, to dwell on the events previously. I had doubts that Lex would listen to the things I'd said, but it didn't surprise me, I wasn't very good at giving advice and with my less-than-brilliant mental state I didn't blame others for doubting me. Still, I had felt bad for her sadness, I wanted to help, even if I wasn't particularly good at it... I just hoped she'd be alright, considering she was allowing Lee & I to stay, even with Damon trying to drive us away. I sighed, picking my way carefully through the forest, casting my gaze over the trees, the shrubs, the soil, wondering for a moment what my child would make of this world. I was fearful how he or she would be treated, I wanted them to have the childhood, the life, that I had never had. I just hoped I would be good enough to give it to them. As my mind darted, I noticed a drip of cold liquid upon my nose, followed my another on my back, soon to be joined by many more droplets of water. I tilted my head up, letting the rain wash over my face, a smile forming. The coolness of the water began to wash away my troubled thoughts, soothing me for a while.

I do so love the rain.

By the time I returned home, my fur coat was soaking, but I didn't mind. The rain had cleared my mind, giving me a chance to calming think through some things. I planned to have a chat with Lee, try to reassure him and not run away this time, as I realised I had been doing. Just as I changed back to human form and reached the door, a few scents filled my nostrils; Lee's, of course, but also Talvi's and Melissa's, both of which smelled very fresh. Now I hesitated, shying away from the door. It had been plain to my eyes that Talvi was more distrustful of me since the hyena incident and I didn't blame him, he'd be lucky if the wounds I had given him didn't leave a scar. The very thought made me whine ever so slightly and I backed away, standing in the rain, looking at the house. It was a few moments before I finally made my way to the back of the building, letting myself in as quietly as I could before practically running up the stairs to the bedroom. My heart was racing, my once calm demeanor shattered. I sank to the floor, my dripping wet clothes beginning to make a darker patch on the floor. I was such a mess. I hoped they wouldn't come upstairs to find me, I didn't think I could handle it. My panic attacks were debilitating and I didn't always know when they would strike, all I could do was try to ride them out.

(Im sorry, didnt notice its my turn x) )

Rain drops woke me up, tickling my nose and then my fur. I shook my head, waking Nigel by that too. I looked up to the sky. It seemed a lot like there was a storm coming, so I lifted myself up, shook the fur again and sniffed. It also scented like storm, but a hard one. I hoped everyone would be save, storms could be very bad here in the forest, getting hit by sticks wasnt even the biggest problem.

We should better get some place to hide till that storm is gone, it is only rising now.
You never lived in the wilds, how can you know the storm will be bad?
Call it instincts, but I also spend a lot of time, doing weather studys in my youth he said with his rather dark voice, giving me a smirk.
Well then. I dont live in the village anymore, and the only real safe areas where we cant get hit by something that could probably brake from above us, are too far away. The storm will arive soon. I say we go to Lee and Eiri, their house is most near.
He nodded, and so we made our way. We walked faster and faster, the rain was soaking our fur, the wind blew as hard, as it wouldnt do in years, I feared of the outcome of this, the forest would be pure chaos after this storm!
After a short time then, we reached Lees house and knocked on the door. He did a hard job, keeping the door in his hands when he opened it, the wind tried to blow it away. He waved us in, and it felt just warm and comfortable being in the house, the door closed. Talvi and Melissa where also here, and I smelled Eiri too who just wasnt in the room.

This storm sure makes some trouble!
Oh yeah it does. Selar in the kitchen, killing the fridge?
Huh? No. Selar isnt here, I thought he would be with you.
You mean he is not here?! I took a look outside again where the wind just threw off some branches.
I have to find him then.
Are you crazy? This storm is getting worse and worse!
Thats why I need to find him! You stay here and keep an eye if he maybe comes here by himself.
I jumped outside and ran off, trying to catch any kind of scent. The storm got worse like Nigel said and I really had to watch to not get hit by branches. I couldnt see any walker, all where hiding. I tried to catch a scent, but it was hard to find anything through the rain which was getting that bad, that I couldnt even see clear anymore.
Lightnings decorated the sky, I heard some crack that loud, I thought it would shoot me.
I couldnt say for how long I searched for Selar, but it must have been hours, it leaded me nearly to the territory borders, when I finally catched a scent and followed it. I soon then found the little pup, crouching under a big trees roots and visibly happy to see me. I grabbed his neck and turned around to go back with him. But I already felt so tired, carrying his weight, and my own, wet fur ones after so long time fighting against the wind. I made a long way, till my legs felt weak and shivery, I remembered on the last time I had eaten was a long time ago, what didnt push my strenght up... I got careless, and didnt notice the loud cracking sound of a big branch, that felt off till it was too late.
It hit me right on the head and I felt on my belly immadiately. I tried to stand up, but I felt dizzy, couldnt see straight anymore. I heard Selar shouting, but it sounded silent in my ears, and I just layd over him to protect him a little better.
I smelled my own blood as it ran through my fur like the water, I had to blink to not get it into my eyes.
Selar howled since a while, since a human body showed up in the rain as silhouette.
I snarled by instinct, when he came more near then, I noticed the dreads, the eyes and the scent. I let go again, when Nigel kneed down beside me.
What happened?!
I didnt answer, layd there with eyes nearly closed to get lost of the shaky feeling, like all was turning in circles around me.
He then was speaking with Nigel who showed up under me, then he shoved aside a little, lifted me up in his arms, carrying me back, Selar grabbing his shirt to keep track.
Some time later then, we arrived at Lees house again. I shortly noticed some more walkers, mostly in human forms to not wet the floor too much. I noticed some fearful faces when Nigel came in with me, I saw Melissa who grabbed Selar to take him aside, checking him for wounds. Shortly I saw Eiri who carried stuff like table decoration, shortly after that Nigel layd me on the table where they usually ate their lunch. Luckily I was more dog sized, else I would have hang over on both edges. I noticed some movements of the walkers, I couldnt even say who it was, all was moving so fast. But I smelt Nigel who hold my face with his hands, I whimpered silently before closing my eyes peacefully, knowing I was safe in Lees house, surrounded by walkers only. At least I thought it where ALL walkers, not knowing of two humans who where traveleres, got lost in the forest while the storm, and found shelter in Lees house too. Thats why all walkers where in human form, and thats why they seemed rather shocked that someone came in with a wolf in his arms...
I didnt notice anything in that night, till I woke up the next morning.

Though it was transparently clear that Lee had calmed down immensely since his verbal altercation with Lex, I could sense that he still hadn't completely let it go. Furthermore, my presence didn't seem to be helping the situation. Maybe he thought I was sent here by Lex to lecture him?

"I know you don't wanna talk about it, so I'll leave it at this; I don't blame you for it."

He seemed thankful for my input, if perhaps a little surprised. Regardless, I promised to leave it at that, so I did. On cue, something made me very alert, but I did not know what. But all I could smell were friendly scents. Lee, Melissa... wait, where was Eiri? The uncertainty of that question alone made my healing wound sore again. I did not mean to, but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable in not knowing where she was. It felt like she could pounce... at any moment. Lee's voice brought my attention back to him. "Seriously, what the heck is up with you today?"

"Oh, uh... sorry, the storm caught my eye," I mumbled. Both Lee and Melissa looked at me with scepticism. Before they had a chance to say anything though, someone knocked at the door. It was Lex, accompanied by Nigel.

------------

The news that Selar was missing was a blow to everyone. Lex had rushed off before any of us could even react. I felt horrible for letting her search on her own, particularly being a Guardian, but the fact remained that I would've just slowed her down. Nigel, however, was not so thoughtful of the situation. He kept harassing me to let him catch up to Lex and help her, but I refused. "Fool, Lex can handle herself! Having someone else to take care of in such dangerous conditions would only make things worse for both of you! Listen to me!"

"But you do not know what I can do!" He snapped.

I sighed, looking at Melissa. Again, she shrugged. I stepped aside, but not before warning him of the dangers. "Fine, but when you find her, you listen to her completely, you mustn't try to be a hero, understand?" Nigel nodded, and ran out the door as fast as he could.

------------

The storm was fierce, and as the rain became more torrential and the thunder became much louder, other walkers I recognised began to flock to Lee's house, escorted by my fellow guardians. I don't think he was quite expecting so many guests, but they were our fellow pack members, so it's little wonder that he invited them all in to take shelter from the chaos outside. Eiri had finally come down and offered to feed the guests (it appeared that she was indeed in the house when I began to wonder where she was), and overall it was quite a nice atmosphere, with everybody talking and looking out for each other. This content medium dissipated at the knock of the door, and immediately, I noticed it wasn't a familiar scent. Lee caught on too. "Human forms, everybody. Now." Luckily for us, most already were.

Lee answered the door to two humans. Hikers, who had explained that they had lost their tent in the storm and had got lost searching for a place of shelter. Lee was kind, and invited them in. He told them that they had caught us in the middle of a party... something that wasn't actually too far from the truth.

Time passed until the storm began to clear, revealing the night sky. It must've been about an hour since sundown. The two friendly hikers, bellies full of warm food and drink, were about to thank Lee and Eirian for their hospitality and leave, but they stopped when they saw Selar and Nigel, disheveled and sodden from the rain. Carrying a wounded wolf. Melissa rushed to Selar's aid. I can remember my thoughts from that moment. Please, Lex, keep quiet. Please... After checking that Selar was indeed okay, Melissa and I tended to Lex's wounds after Nigel had placed her on the sofa. It made for a nice 'bonding' exercise. The two humans were perplexed, and clearly did not feel safe. One asked why we would risk tending to a wild wolf's wounds. I thought of something on the fly. "We work for Greenpeace. Protecting nature is what we do." They were still clearly uncomfortable, so they left, thanking everyone on the way out. As they left, a collective sigh passed through the room. The threat had passed.

Many of our fellow Skinwalkers made haste for their own homes now that the night was clear, leaving myself, Lee, Eirian, Melissa, Selar, Nigel and the wounded Lex. They were all rather subdued and quiet for the rest of the night. Though I shared their silence, I was furious. All I could think about was Nigel. You fucking idiot. You could've endangered us all. I thought that again and again, all night...

I stepped over to Talvi, patting his shoulder, to show him he wasn't alone and that he should calm down. I don't know why, but somehow all of a sudden, I calmed down. Maybe it was because this time my family, my friends, all the skinwalkers were really in danger. Or maybe it was just the calm before the storm.

Someone knocked on the door and came inside. It was Hefray. He was still weak, because of the attack of the hyenas.  He's always there when I need him... I looked into his eyes, feeling that he knew what has happened. "It makes the round. The other skinwalkers told me about the heroic rescue of Lex." He stepped over to the wounded Lex, laying a hand on her forehead. "Maybe I can help you this time." "She'll be alright." Hefray nodded and looked over to Nigel, who was still kneeling next to Lex head. He waved his head to me, then out the door. I nodded. "Melissa, can you bring Lex to the study room? Selar can watch TV there and she will have some silence there." Melissa stand up and carried Lex to the study room. Nigel tried to stand up to, but Hefray stopped him. "No, no little hero." I turned to Eiri, giving her a fast kiss. "We'll have a talk between men." Hefray turned Nigel to the door, although he had objections. I smiled over to Talvi and waved out the door.

Finally we were all staying on the veranda. Hefray, Nigel, Talvi and me. Only now I was realising that I was the only windsoul. The others were firesouls. My necklace was pulsating again and I tried to straighten up to show them my strenght. Though this was mostly subconscious, the pure will to survive. "Nigel, you risked the lifes of all the skinwalkers in these forests." "Yes, but I had to..." "Why didn't you use the backdoor?" "I don't know." "Didn't you smell the humans?" He shook his head. "I guess, you still have to learn a lot." I pat on his shoulder to cheer him up. "This time nothing happened, but you have to think about your actions before doing something. I mean it's obvious that you like Lex a lot." He began to blush. "But still you risked her life today." Apart that she risked her own life too." "Just train your instincts more. That'll help you. Especially when you are a firesoul." Slowly Nigels tension subside and also Talvi calmed down. I could feel his anger vanish. "And you have to accept that Lex is risking her life nearly everyday." Nigel smiled and then began to laugh. I wanted to laugh too, as a crunsh grabbed my attention. I turned around immediately, followed by Talvi and Hefray, who tried to find out where the noise came from, too. "Huh, what's up guys?" "Like I said, train your..."

Hefray was interrupted by a huge shadow jumping forward, right into my direction. Long teeth dug into my forearm. I turned the shadow, I guess it was a wolf, around and smashed it on the ground, now kneeling over him. I could feel long fur under my fingers, a white fur, and brown paws pedaling under me. Then the wolf shifted the form and a small woman was laying on the veranda. I jumped up, still in fighting mode. Hefray and Talvi stepped next to me, securing her with their eyes. Nigel was growling behind us. Slowly the woman was standing up. Her hair was white and her eyes green. She was large for a woman and she had these ridiculous large feet. She was wearing a white necklace. All in all she looked like a feminine version of...me. She wiped away the dirt from her clothes and stepped right in front of me. "Hello Brother."

"What?" She smiled and then began to laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you." She stepped to Hefray and gave him her hand. "Hi, I'm Jarla, Lee's sister." Then she went over to Talvi and did the same, before she waved Nigel and came back to me. "Sorry, but I guess you have the wrong Lee. I don't have a sister. I would know it if I have one." "Uhm..." "Lee..." "Lee...she..." "Man, she looks exactly like you." I growled. "That can't be." "Oh, but it is. Ok, I'm actually just your half-sister, just three years younger then you. Your daddy is my daddy. I don't know when he met my mother, but I have often got letters from him. He told me that I have a brother and that if something ever happens I should search for you." I was confused, my dad... "And now something happened and here I am. My mother died and I'm all alone. We were living in a city, where no other walkers were. And after she died I began to search for you and finally I found you." Jarla looked around. "So this will be my new home." She stepped into the house, slowly followed by Nigel and Hefray. I was still not moving, to confused to do so. This time Talvi was pating on my shoulder. I sighed. "She will be a second Melissa...."



(Sorry, but I didn't had the time to write while all these holidays. I wish you all a Happy New Year!)

Happy New Year from me too
______________________________________

When I woke up, I shook my head, a little confused to see Melissas face.
Hei there you are! You alright?
Ugh, yeah I guess so. I thouched my head, felt a soft bandage which I ripped off. For my own luck, the wound wasnt bleeding anymore. Melissa just wanted to say something but she stopped right when taking breath for it.
I stood up, doing a side step of feeling shaky, then I got myself back and the dizzy feeling was gone.
So... what happened?
Melissa told me in short sentences, of how Nigel came back with me, surprising some humans who where in the house too...
When she was done, I went to the living room, finding Selar who directly jumped into me. He told me how happy he was when I found him, and hugged me, when I saw the guys came in again.
Melissa had told me of why they went outside, so I lifted my voice directly when they came in.
What do you think you are doing? You try to lecture him? He was the only one searching for me, also he is a grown up men, why should he... who is this?
I stopped my speech to the guys, when I saw the girl come in. When she was in the room and the door closed, she saw me, widened her eyes and grinned a little, hinting her voice to Lee.
Wow! Who is that freak eh?!
Just now I noticed I was in human form... For I second I felt hit inside, what turned to anger like it always did.
Instead of switching to wolf, I let a deep wolf snarl escape my mouth and stepped more near to her.
You better take that back kid! I say it once more: WHO is that?!
Thats uh... thats hard to tell...
She is Lees sister.
My jaw fell down for a moment, not believing what I just heard, but then I noticed how equal they looked.
Actually half sister!
Oh yeah that makes a difference... I stepped through the room, nearly face to face with Lee, snarling a little silent at him.
Any more siblings I should know of?! Then I turned back to the room.
You cant just invite people free to the clan! I need to know who lives here and who not! When I dont know people, I cant trust them!
Now I stepped to the girl again, leaned forward, staring into her eyes and came near enough that she took a step back. Now I felt what I searched for after her dirty smile. Fear.
You are not to be trusted, and I should kick you out my territory right now for being such a ...! "Hello!?"
I stopped to talk when I heard voices outside. All of us turned silent. I stepped to the window looking outside, a little hidden. Five humans... obviously no walkers.
Then I felt someone right behind me, leaning on me while looking over me outside too.
Oh gosh no, this are the humans from yesterday. Why are they here again?
I stepped back again, switched to wolf. I went to an other window, where I where less watchful, and when they saw me, one of them pointed at me. I went down again.
What do they want?! Didnt you say you told them that you would be from greenpeace or something like that?
Exactly.
"Hello? Is someone home?"
I´ll do that. Right when Nigel stepped to the door, Talvi and Lee followed him. When they went outside, they stopped right outside, not going to near to them.
Morning, how can we help you?
"We had a talk this morning. These three here, are real greenpeace workers. They have licenses and what else... we told them of what happened and they said there are no known greenpeace workers in this area." One of the "greenpeace" guys lifted his voice now.
"We got the suspicion you do test on wild animals. Illegal tests. They said that wolf they saw last night, was pretty damaged by scars. We would like to see your license, and also the animal."
Oh well... Nigel looked at Talvi and Lee who both stood there such helpless like Nigel himself.
Okay you caught us, we are not from greenpeace. We just live here and are animal friends. When we find some wounded... of course we help hehe...
"A wild wolf? That would be more dangerous than taking a serial killer into your house! Sorry I cant believe your words, I´d like to see that wolf."
Y... you mean if she´s healthy?
"So you even know the gender? What exactly you did on that animal?"
With every word that conversation had, the humans turned more and more suspicious.
Okay uuh... wait a second we will bring her out. We just... wanted to set her free anyway!
The three came back in, I felt their struggling. I just hopped off and came back with a rope. It would make the idea of a "wild wolf" more realistic.
Though I felt he didnt want it, Nigel bent the rope around my snout, fixing an other around the old one around my neck. Then they leaded me outside. For making the picture more realistic, I stopped here and there, trying to pull against the rope, snarled and growled.
"So thats the wolf?"
Of course. You think we have any other in there?
"Who knows... well let´s have a look at this."
He kneed down infront of me, and now growling feeled even more natural to me. I didnt like to be so near to a human. He took a look at me, touching my scars here and there, and then I felt the bad glance in his eyes when he looked to the young man.
"Most of these are fire markings... but some ARE human made. We will need to take care of her first, you can give me the leash."
What?! We looked up on her, she is allright, the scars are healed the wound from the storm too... we can set her free!
"As a real greenpeace worker, I tell you we cant just let her go. We will check up on her, though you are no real doctors are you? Now hand it over!"
I seen Nigels look on the others, he waited for help. I knew he wouldnt give the leash to them, but he was out of ideas. When the greenpeace guys then took an other bad look at my walkers, I used the moment and jumped off. Nigel of course let go off the leash and I ran off.
"Take the tranquilizer, fast!"
I heard how the whole group talked against the greenpeace guys now, their voices grew more silent, till they where gone. I wiped off the rope around my snout, switched to human shortly, taking the leash off, and switching back again.
I wondered what would be happening back there, but then I heard a shot, and smelled blood. From sitting there, I jumped off like a rocket, running back to Lees house. Two of the greenpeace workers had guns in their hands, the group didnt stand seperated from each other, but mixed up with the humans. I guessed they hand-fighted when I was gone so they wouldnt follow me. But it was a horrible picture... Talvi and Lee held Nigel each on one of his arms, and tried to lift him up, I saw blood running through the clothes of his left leg. They looked shocked at the humans, one still pointing his gun at them. Greenpeace workers huh? Sure... The two humans who where no greenpeace workers, ran off. Right when they did, I jumped forward. I left them, they would escape. But saving my family was more important. I just ran up to them, and then jumped right into the guys back who held the weapon on Nigel and the others. His hand flew up, a shot ran through the air, his gun felt down, he felt on his belly, me right on his back. I snapped for his neck, bitten hard and turned his head harsh... a loud crack and it was done within seconds. The second gun-guy lifted his arm too, shot in my direction. The bullet just scratched over my back, didnt left more than a scratch. Then I let go off the dead one, and jumped right into his face, pushing him to the ground, and going for his throat then. Now the others switched too, came to me right when I ran a few steps aftert the third, who I pushed to the ground too, grabbed his head and shook it. I shook and shook, his neck already broken, but I couldnt stop shaking him till Lee came to me, pressed his snout into my shoulder. My pupils turned small again, I let go off the man. I panted, the snout full of blood. Then the bushes rustled... and Damon shown up. His front side, full of blood...
Hei there... just wanted to make you know, I got the two humans escaping. Just came here when you did Lex. Im... gonna bring them away to hide from the other humans and .... gone again then. I heard the respect in his voice, from our last fight yesterday. I just gave him a nod, but was so thankful someone got the other two escaping ones.
When Damon was gone, I turned my view to Lee again, then to Talvi and Nigel. I walked over the dead bodys, right to Nigel who sat there, one leg stretched away.
His eyes where a little fixed on the dead bodys, Hefray just started to pull the first one away to find a spot where to bury them so noone would find them.
If someone risks his life, then it´s me. Got that?
Oh I just thought it would be nice if someone would run to my rescue too. And so you did.
You´re a freak! It hurts bad?
Nah. Bullet just went through my lower leg. See? Already stops bleeding. Was just a shock when he really fired that bullet! Noone ever shot at me!
Huh. Humans. Just natural. Though, those werent greenpeace workers. They wouldnt have guns with them. I wonder why they were here. Maybe they liked the idea of a house in the middle of nowhere, maybe robbing?
Maybe.
I sat down, though I didnt smell any humans anymore and felt more save now. I shook my head once more, a bit of the blood flying through the air when Nigel just started to lick some off my cheeks.
Are you often full of humans blood?
When is she ever out of blood?! I rarely seen her not fighting! Hefray said laughing when he layd down a human into a hole he had just digged.
The girls and Selar stepped out now too, Selar running to Hefray, helping him to close the hole, as if it would be the most normal in world to hide a dead human body. Then I noticed the young girls shocked face. Lees sister... I took a look at her once more, then I looked over to Lee. He was just draging a body too, when he noticed my view on him.
His ears folded down before dragging the body more far away.
It really was weird. Those humans werent normal... maybe they knew of us as walkers? Maybe do tests on you? Using their chance to get a walker?
How would they have known of us?
I dont know... but that was weird wasnt it?
That is for sure, Mel.

(oh I guess you forget Tsukikoko now, Skye. I thought the row was: Skye, Talvi,.me and Tsukikoko. But maybe I'm wrong. I don't know)