Skinwalker

(Sorry for posting short textes today...I'm looking after my siblings^^ and I just have the mobilephone xD)
It was a peaceful scene. A moment of peace after fighting and arguing. Hefray looked over to Lex and the new one.  He smiled warmly and turned around, making his way back to the village. I realised Eirians hand holding my arm and blushed. What shall I feel like? Lex was looking relaxed. This was the first timeI saw her like this. It must have been a big burden being the leader of a pack like this with Damon as a foe. I turned to Eiri "Let's leave them alone." I took Eiris hand and leaded her through the forest.
After some time I reached the waters I washed my arm the night before. "Ok, let's take some water" We went over to the shore. I grinned. My arm is still hurting, but I'm feeling much better already. The fever is mostly gone...so let's play. I considered the water. It was only knee deep, but deep enough to have some fun. I released Eiris hand and pushed her into the waves. She fell, but, catlike, she landed on her feet, even in humanform. I stood at the shore grinning down to her. She was mostly shocked, but I hoped she would understand the game. " So tell me something about you. Is it true that cats hate water?" I still smiled as a powerful hand grabed my leg and pulled me down the shore. I felt inside the water, landing on my butt, being completely wet. Damn thing...I don't have catmoves.. I grinned.

I had not expected the white wolf to take a hold of my hand, so I ended up focusing on it, not realising he had led me to water until I was pushed in. My reflexes had always been good though, so I landed on my feet. Managed to get him back too.

I smile at Lee, who was now sat in the water, droplets of the liquid dripping off him. I understood the game he wanted to play, but had been slightly hesitant at first, it had been so long since I'd 'played' with anyone. It wasn't too long before I was able to answer his question though,
"Oh no, I'm not like most cats, my kind love water."
With that, I splash water in his direction, before running off through the waves, laughing. Laughing. I was actually... laughing. I had thought I would never do so again, yet here I was. It was strange, I had not known this wolf for very long, yet I felt calmer in his presence than I had done with anyone in a long time. He got to his feet, chasing after me through the waters, chuckling along with me, he reaches out to grab me, but I dance away from his fingers, creating the game; we continue this for a while, he snatching to catch me, my dodging out of the way. Water sprays up around us the whole time, creating a shimmering effect.

When he finally does grab hold of me, I trip on a rock beneath the surface, sending the both of us tumbling into the water. When we sit up again, we look at one another and burst out laughing. Once the giggling subsides, I push a strand of hair from my face and smile broadly at him,
"Thank you Lee, for talking to me. I know I can be... difficult."
The instant after I speak, I feel a blush begin to creep onto my face and have to look away from him again.

As Lex spoke, her tales of sad times struck a chord inside me. It reminded me of my own past. Maybe in time, I could grow to trust this new group of Skinwalkers. Maybe... I could make my desire for revenge disappear...

I continued to lick her wounds as it seemed to be helping her forget about the pain, or at the very least, it seemed to be cleaning the wound. The taste of blood was thick on my tongue, and I had to admit, I wasn't sure if I liked it or hated it. Regardless, this action was a means to an end. This action would at least begin to compensate for the apparent grief I had caused by even showing my face.

"I don't think you've lost your kindness. Why would you defend strangers otherwise? Look, I understand your predicament. More than you know..."

I did my best to quell my negative thoughts, instead focusing on the wound more. After a while I noticed that the blood was thickening. Though it would not scab over, her body was at least trying to form a clot on the surface of the wound. Still, care and attention would be needed in monitoring this injury, particularly in such a dangerous area. The thought of the wound scarring wracked me with guilt, almost to the very core. And yet, I thought to myself, why do I struggle to steel my heart? Why do I feel these things?

"I must apologise, Lex. I cannot fight the feeling that I was responsible for this injury you've sustained. I also recognise that, although my actions were with your interests in mind, it wasn't perhaps a good idea to provoke this 'Damon' fellow...

...Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

It was nothing about you. Damon saw his chance, and so he snapped for it. Every month are coming new members here, it was always peaceful. Some found new friends, some stayd with the ones they came with, and others turned out to be loners. You can still pick your place.
I lifted myself up again, now less shaky but still a bit soft on my legs.
Well. I will go back to my house then... and lock it in case of Damon coming back. You better search for some hotel for the night, why dont you go with old guy over there? He is firesoul too and... as a room in the hotel too. See you.
I nodded to the old firesoul, then to the younger before turning around and slowly making my way back, ears up to catch any sound I could. But the way was silent till I came home. I switched back and moved in, outside it was dark already. I went to the mirror and looked in, my clothes where partly ripped, the bites Damon left looked worse as human than as wolf. And also the ones in the face. Some holes on my top head, two at right temple and one near the eye on my nose. I sighed. In that moment, the door knocked.
Who´s there?! I asked rather nervous.
It´s me.
Oh Cucks, eh come in.
Hey there, where have you been all... oh my. What happened this time? Everytime I meet you, you look like chewed up!
I wonder why you come here anyway. Someone like you... I mean Im like the freakshow in this town! What would you...
Stop babbling he said dry, stepped forward and wiped over my nose wound with his thumb.
Let me wash it off, as always. He gave some soft smile, then moved to the other room and got something from there, while I sat down on my bed. I felt like seeing a silhouette outside of my window for a moment, but couldnt see anything anymore. Then Chucks came back inside with a waterbowl and a towel, sat down beside me and dipped the towels tip into water to wash over the wounds. I twitched for a moment, then hold still again.
You know, I wont even ask where you got this wounds from this time. Can you just keep yourself away from it a bit?
Heh, no I cant.
I just... dont wanna loose ya. You´re special you know?
Im just a freak to the most!
Not to me. He smiled again while keeping an eye on cleaning the wounds. I spotted an empty space on the floor while he kept washing. How much I would have liked to tell him what happened. I knew him nearly as long as Damon and he was always a good friend, caring too.
Lex, you know that I know what you have on your body. Scars all over, even on your back. You can get such wounds on simple forest walks. Or the shot from yesterday. You know you dont need to tell me what you are doing out there but... you know if you need help with something... if someone is making you do things or such...
It´s all right Chux. But I cant tell you, okay? I just cant. My voice started vibrating without me wantin it, and directly Chucks layd aside the towel, grabbed my chin and lifted my head to his view, staring into my eyes.
Hey hey, I said it´s okay! Dont worry lil´one. Come here...
He putted the waterbowl and the towel aside, shoved me more to the wall at the bed and leaned against it, pulling me at his chest.
I guess no matter what it is out there, it will be alright. You can do it right?
I guess.
You can do it? I just needed to smile now.
I can.
You can?
I will.
Thats my girl.
Chucks?
Yeah?
...thanks.
He just playd in my hair a moment and pushed me more close. It felt good to be in save arms even for once. Thinking of Damon was kinda fearing me. If the others wouldnt have been, I´d be dead now. No matter what, I needed to protect them. All skinwalkers in my territory. If Damon would come back, at least I would have company in my back. For now it was Chucks at my back. And it felt good, so I just rested there, my arms over his that surrounded me. I closed my eyes for a moment, before I felt into sleep accidentally.

Eiri turned away from me. I saw her ears get red. Carefully I placed one hand on her cheek. Her wet hair touched my handback. I turned her head back to mine. I looked deep into her eyes. I already loved the blue deep. My hand wandered to her behind head. I pulled her head nearer while moving my head nearer to her."I'm normally not doing that...you know, I'm actually really shy..and..." I didn't know what to say anymore. We were moving nearer and nearer, our noses nearly touched. Her smell was nearly hypnoticing me. My hands were wandering down. I fingers touched her arms. She was still wearing my jacket. I pulled her nearer and then we finally kissed. It was like something exploded inside of me. Before closing my eyes, I spend a last look in hers. She wasn't even shocked. All my concerns and fears were washed away. I didn't felt the pain of my arm anymore. I just felt...free and relaxed. Eiri was relaxing to. Her effort dwindled. I wished this moment would last forever.

I felt great. We were still sitting in the water. watching the small waves passing us. "I never did that before with a person I really liked." I looked ashamed to the ground, blushing again. "I think I was the tipical warrior. Cold, strong and alone. I just lived for defend my pack. I never really build up a relationship to somebody, never mind a relationship to a girl. Maybe it was because I was afraid of losing a loved person." I looked into her eyes, now already afraid of losing her. I sigh. "My parents were killed. It was in a night in November. Housebreakers came into our house. As my parents wanted to defence their home, they shoot at them. I was hiding under the floor hallway. I was just a pup back then. I've heard so many shoots. Then everything was quiet. The men were walking over me, but they didn't realised me. Then they left. I came out of my hiding place. They had taken everything with them. I found my parents laying on the floor. My father layed on the belly, my mother on the back. My mother. I really loved her. She was so lovely. She was an earthsoul. Everyone loved her. I crawled over to her. The men nearly perforated her. Her necklace was shattered into thousand pieces. I wanted to die. I really wanted to die. But then I remembered my mother. She would disappointed when I would give up. So I stood up and wanted to change my form, but something on the floor kept my attention. I found this." I rummaged in my jeans pocket and pulled out a small bag. I opened it and distributed the content in my hand. It was a small green fragment. "This is a fragment form the necklace of my mother. It was a green heart. I'm taking it with me. Everyday. Like a lucky charm." Ismiled. "I'd left our house back then and ran into the wild. That was the time when I became cold. I never wanted to lose a loved person again. As I said, I was a pup back then. I remained in my wolf form for month. I gave my best to survive, I even fighted a bear. Better to say, he chased me away as I was sleeping in his cave. But I managed to find a pack. It was Hefrays pack. He was a pup back then too. Ok, he's looking old now, but actually he's just some years older then me. We grew up like brothers. As Hefray became the alpha, he choosed me to be his beta and his advisor. I was faithful, always doing what he told me. I never let anybody get closer to me. Of course, there were other girls, but I didn't want them. So I always felt like a stranger, not just because I was one. That's why I can understand you." I looked to her again. Eiri was listening attentive. I sigh again. "But you.. you have broken the ice." I smiled and stored the fragment in my pocket. I pulled her into my arms, enjoying the feeling of another person.
But Eiri was shaking. I was shocked. Immediately I concentrated on my environment, looking for something that could fright her. But I didn't find anything. Then another thought came to my mind. Maybe she's afraid of me... I wanted to slip away, but she was clinging on me. I wondered. What's her problem? I pulled her near to me again and then realised her cold body. Stupid Lee, of course, she is cold. Not surprising as we were still sitting in the water and it was already nearly night. I stood up and carried her in my arms. Eiri layed her arms around my neck. I carried her out of the water and to the forest. "Sorry that I wasn't realising it..." She just smiled warm, but I still had a guilty conscience. "Ok Mylady, show me the way." She was laughing again and I smiled. It was like the sound of angels.

I hadn't even realised I was cold until I was being held in Lee's arms, suddenly very aware of my own shivering, having been too caught up in the moment of our kiss and the story of his past that followed. I still couldn't believe we had done so; I had worried only for a moment as he pulled me closer, before my heart fluttered with an emotion I could not place. Was this what attraction felt like?
"Ok Mylady, show me the way."
His voice pulled me from my thoughts and I laughed for a moment, before pointing in the direction I knew the village to be.
"I have a feeling we should go somewhere to get our clothes dry, don't you agree? Unless you'd rather stay out here in the trees?"
I smiled again. Truth be told I didn't mind either way, having spent most of my life living away from villages or cities the idea of spending another night in the forest didn't bother me, but I was aware my clothes were soaking and it would be more difficult to dry them out here. Lee chuckled and placed a small kiss on the top of my head, which made me blush once more, my heart rate quickening for a moment. As he began to walk, still holding me in his arms, I was able to return to my thoughts, meaning I wasn't paying too much attention to which direction he was taking, I figured the decision was up to him.

I thought back to how he had told me about his past, the tragedy that had befallen him. I felt a deep sadness for what had happened, but I also felt glad in a way, glad that he had managed to carry on with his life, find a pack and a new family. From what I had seen of Hefray, I thought him a good person, it made me happy that Lee had met him. I desperately wanted to tell him of my past, but I didn't know what his reaction might be, what he might come to think of me, so I stayed quiet.
Not yet.... I don't think I'm ready yet...
One of my hands touches the scars on my face, tracing the three scratches across the bridge of my nose and down my cheek. Suddenly, I feel as though I want to cry. I want to be with him, but I'm scared of losing him, of hurting him.
When he learns of who I really am, why I'm like this, will he accept me? Or will he push me away?
Questions swirl in my mind, conflicting emotions spiralling through me. I think back to how I attacked Damon, how Lee might ask me again of what happened that night and guilt overwhelms me. I bury my head into the crook of his shoulder, where it meets his neck and close my eyes tight. I feel so very tired all of a sudden..

As I wondered with the older firesoul, the words that Lex had said rung in my ears continuously. But, was she right? Could someone like me find my place here? Could I seriously co-exist with this new group? I wished that I could, but my doubts arose every time I considered the option of telling them my story. I didn't want to be alone. Far from it. Being a wanderer had become nothing short of a nightmare for me. It was my hell, which made me believe I must have sinned. And yet...

...all I wanted was to be accepted. To have friends, have a clan that I belonged to, that I would protect with tooth and claw, perhaps maybe find a lover, maybe a beautiful she-walker, settle down, and start a family. Of course, I used to have some of those things, so long ago...

My elder companion seemed a little taken back by my cold silence. Silly me, I thought. I've been stewing within my own mind again, so I probably appear ungrateful to him.

I raised my head, and addressed him politely. "I'm sorry, I was lost in thought. Thank you for offering me your hospitality. I appreciate your generosity."

My companion nodded, and we continued.

We had taken our human forms before arriving at the hotel in question. If necessary, I had some currency which hopefully would've been sufficient, but the elder fire soul shook his head at my attempts to compensate him.

The hotel was fairly simple in layout, which was perfect. it had two beds, a shower, and a nice view. Speaking of showers, I really felt like I needed one after today...

As I washed, I could feel the warm water sting me. It took me a second to realise that the stings were from scratches that I had obtained from getting involved with Lex and Damon's altercation. Regardless, they were superficial. But it did draw my attention to the scars just below my chest, between it and my stomach. A set of claws did rend that flesh. His claws...

My entire body felt like it was burning now, but not from the cold water. I didn't understand this sudden spike of bloodlust that kept gnawing at my heart. Why did I want to kill this guy so bad? Why?

Maybe because he robbed me of my future?

As I turned the tap off and dried myself, I noticed I was bleeding at the nose. Boy, this human form was very strange. I couldn't have had those stressful thoughts for more than a minute. I wiped it clean, and pressed on.

That night, I simply sat on my bed, meditating, before I fell asleep. I'm sure that my companion had wanted to ask me questions, but whether it was fear of me, or respect for my meditation, something stopped him. Thus, a quiet end to a strange day.

(Someone who want to write in "Behind the graves" too? https://skythegames.forumieren.com/t25-behind-the-graves )

When I woke up the next morning, I layd the same as when I fell asleep. When I slowly moved a bit, Chuck also woke up, stretched a bit and then put his arms around me once more.
My mind was more clear now and I wondered a little what this was about. We had always been friends, but this time it felt kinda different.
Ya slept well? His voice sounded tired but also kind of happy.
I did, having such a warm back eh? I bowed my neck a bit to see his face upsite down, then he smiled before giving me a kiss on the forehead. I had a silent second, not realising what it was about, then smiled back. I sat up straight before turning around and leaning against his chest, he directly pushed me more near and playd with one of my dreads with one hand.
The sun is already up.
Yeah but it´s sunday, so that means I have a free day.
If it´s sunday, we could go the market. I have nothing here, maybe we could... find something for breakfast?
Up up my lady! Food sounds great!
Chuck had always been a fun-maker, making jokes everytime he could. Usually I was busy with stuff in the forest, and couldnt think much about the jokes. But this time, I could. And it seemed like me laughing, made him laugh even more. So we walked to the market, it was midday already. It felt good to have Chuck at my side, especially because people started staring again because of my new wounds. It seemed to be a perfect day, the sun was up, no cloud at the sky and Damon was gone. At least... I thought so till I saw him. My heart stopped for a moment, he saw me too and went some steps backwards, to get lost between the houses which where directly infront of the forest. Then within seconds, bitter anger came up in me.
Chuck, go back to my house. I have to take care of something.
Uh but the market... I just went off, walked in a fest step to the houses where Damon got lost and when I was out of the peoples view and saw Damon again, I switched to my wolf form. Damon spoke with some shivery voice, then switched to wolf form too.
Oh eeh Lex, wait a second I... without even hearing one his words, I ran after him. He directly turned around and ran away. But the anger in me, turned to nearly blind hate and so I hunted him the whole way, then Damon sprinted on the side, out of the forest and directly over the market place... and blind as I was, I ran after him.
People screamed on the market place, stuff was breaking when they let stuff fall and I didnt knew that also Lee with Eiri und Hafrey with Talvi where on the market. They saw us and directly shoved themselves slowly aside, unseen, to get to the forest aside and run after us between the trees.
I hunted Damon through the half village, till I even came along at my house, following him into the forest. I left the others behind through our speed and when we reached the meeting place, Damon was slowing down a bit, so I reached him, grabbed his leg an brang him to fall. I stand over him, my tail up and snarling at him, the others reached us now too.
Damon crawled in the dust under me, making every kind of gesture he knew to show he wasnt worth a fight.
Lex Lex, please. I beg you, I dont mean any harm. No more, I swear! I just want to live on, you know I grew up here, I cant leave this place! I cant live with the hate of you all while still living and working here! We once where friends! We grew up together! Please forgive me!
I still snarled badly, then snapped forward to bite his neck. He loudly whimpered when I let go off again. When the others reached us, they turned humans again, so did I.
Why should I trust you?! Friends?! A nice friend you are, betraying me through the will of killing me for the leading!
I dont know what rushed me back then, I didnt meant to...
Shut it Damon. I know you cant move this country, but you should know that any wrong step you do, will be your exile?
"Wha... so you want to allow him to still live here?!"
Everyone can get a second chance I guess. I switched back wolf again, the others following me with that, when I softly started to snarl again.
But Damon I swear when... a snap broke my talking, I just looked up, to have my heart stopped.
Chuck stand right at the meeting place. My jaw dropped. When did he come here?!
I heard Hefrays silent whisper.
"Uuh... what do you usually do when humans know about us?"
W... we ... kill them.
I didnt listen to their talkings, just watching at Chuck and he at me. He had seen it, seen how I switched my body and the others too. He shortly looked at all then, turning around slowly, to start run off. I let go off Damon and ran after him.
Chuck! Wait!
When I nearly reached him, he turned around, with a gun in his hands. I stopped abruptly, switched body and skidded on my back infront of his feet. He held the weapon right onto me. I stared onto it, at Chuck, back and again at Chuck. My voice sounded foggy and silent.
Chuck... please let me explain! I... eh...
In corner of my eye I seen the others move more near. I lifted a hand, giving them a signal to stop right where they where. Chuck looked over to them, just seeing some very big animals he had seen humans in before. He then looked back to me, his view now stuck to my necklace which shoved itself out of my jackets top. He was like he was wanting to say something, but then closed his mouth again, put away the gun and left. I laid there for some moments, watching him leave. When I stood up then, the others wanted to come at me when I snarled at them.
You stay here, or wherever! Keep Damon in your view though.
"You want to follow that guy?! He has a gun! What if he shoots you anyway?!"
I switched to wolf, stepped a bit around for some seconds, not sure of what to do. Then I ran off to follow him and catch up with him.

~ The night before ~
I carried Eiri throught the forest. She looked depressed, but I didn't want to stress her with asking. I was sure, she would tell me everything when she was ready for it. I head for the Bed & Breakfast again, slowly realising that it was the same way Hefray and the new one have taken. We reached the village, Eiri snuggled in my arms. I went through the dark alley and found the entrance. "We'll get you a room there." I looked into her eyes, she was tired and it seemed like she didn't wanted to be alone tonight. I nodded and kissed her on her forehead.
A young lady was at the reception. I gave Eiri a sign and she closed her eyes, pretending she was sleeping. The woman didn't asked and gave me the key. I carried Eiri up the stairs and stopped infront of my room. "Ok you already know the room right?" She nodded. I put her down on the bed and turned to a small chest of drawers. Hefray bought clothes for all of us the first day so I had some in stock. I took off my shirt, not realising that Eiri blushed again. As I turned to her I saw her red head and already felt guilty. "I don't want to embarass you." I took a shirt and jogging pants out of the chest and turned to the bathroom" I quickly changed and went back to the bedroom. Eiri was sitting on the bed and wrapped herself in the blanket. "Ehm...you can take a shower now, if you like." I went out of the room and crossed the hall. I knocked on a door. A woman opened the door. She smiled as she saw me. "Merian, I'm so sorry to bother you so late at night." I looked behind her. Luckily her daughter was still asleep. Merian was a member of my pack and she was more or less the mother of us all. "I need some clothes. Woman clothes, a shirt and pants." She looked at me, one eyebrow pulled up. "Lee, do you want to tell me something?" "Nah, better not." I smiled warmly and she turned around and went inside the room. Some moments later she returned. She had some clothes in her hands. "Thank you so much Merian." I gave her a fast kiss an her cheek and crossed the hallway again. I entered my room and knocked on the door to the bathroom. Eiri answered, she would be ready, so I entered.
I looked down her body, her naked body and blushed. "Ehm..." She fastly pulled a towel to cover her skin. I threw the clothes on the basin and quickly turned around, leaving the bathroom.
I sat down on the bed and stretched my body. Man, that girl really drives me crazy... I grinned I like that. Eiri left the bathroom and entered the bedroom. "Tired?" She nodded and sat down on the other side of the bed. "I can sleep on the ground if you like..." She shaked her head and furled herself on the bed, just like a small cat. I covered her with the blanket and take place on the other side. She nearly instantly felt asleep. I began to think about the time I spent with Eiri today. She was hiding something deep inside her. Nothing very bad, but it felt like she was stronger then she thought. I shoke my head. That doesn't matter as long as she stays with me and doesn't run away. I smiled. I can't let her go. I thought about my mother and my father and about having a family and settle down. And then I thought about my life, no mother, no father, no family, no home... "I have to find a home tomorrow..." Eiri grumbled. "Nothing Kitty, just sleep. I'm here and I'll protect you." I stroked her head and touched her hair. Then I finally felt asleep too.

I woke up the next morning, Eiri in my arms, but still sleeping. I carfeully moved down the bed. Eiri grumbled again. I kissed her on her forehead. "I'll have to do something. I'll be back soon." I kissed her again. She was still sleeping, but nevertheless nodded.
I opened the door and made my way to the city.
I found a small boutique and entered. The seller looked at me, like not believing a man would enter her store. I took some clothes and payed for it, hoping Eiri might like them.
The next store I entered was a jeweler. I nodded to the man standing behind the seller desk. "I want you to do something for me."

---

When I came back to my room Eiri was sitting on the bed playing with her necklace. "Do you want to go to a market?" Together we went through the village till we found the colourful booths. Hefray and the new one joined us and together we spend some time on the market, as a large dog Wait, a wolf... crossed the place and a second one LEX?! followed the first. They ran in the forest. Our small group hide in a dark alley, then following them in our wolf forms.
Everything went on very fast. Damon was there and then the human showed up and Lex followed him.
I went over to Damon, looking in his face, which was full with tiny, fresh wounds. "Did you fell down in a bush?" I laughed, but his view was serious. Eiri stepped next to me and sat down. Hefray and the new one sat down opposite of me. Damon wheezed. "Why don't you ask your little friend there or didn't she tell you what happened? Oh and tell me windsoul, how is your arm?" I looked in Eiris eyes. "Everythings fine I guess.." I answered Damon, but still focused the jaguar next to me. Eiri was looking ashamed to the ground. I got ready, ready to chase when she would run away, 'cause I wanted to know what happened. Did she had to do something for Damon? Did he hurt her? I growled. When he did something to her, I would kill him, regardless what Lex said just moment ago.

~The previous night~

Lee had seen me naked. I felt ashamed of my body, not of the shape exactly, but rather of the scars that marred it, a link to my past I could not hide. I hated them. The way they looked, how I had received them and what they meant. Before I emerged from the bathroom I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to rid myself of the memories that always plagued me when I thought of my scars. I was glad Lee didn't question me about them, allowing me to simply curl up on the bed. For a moment I stirred as he got into the bed beside me, but his presence was a comfort and I found sleep came easily to me.

~~~~

It was hard to believe Lex had been so reckless as to run through the marketplace in animal form, or that Damon would return so quickly, yet here we were. She had run after a human boy, someone she obviously knew, but my attention was focused elsewhere. Damon.
"Why don't you ask your little friend there or didn't she tell you what happened? Oh and tell me windsoul, how is your arm?"
He was talking about me. As Lee looked at me I could not meet his gaze, yet alongside the guilt, I could feel a poisonous emotion rising within me, boiling beneath my skin. I remember how the wolf had hurt Lee, how I found him, bleeding and weakened. Sounds became muffled, my field of vision narrowed, until all I could see was Damon. The only warning I gave was a slight baring of my teeth and a low snarl, before I launched myself at him. The others hadn't been expecting it, so no-one moved to stop me. I stood over Damon, the same way I had the night Lee had been hurt, my fangs bared. This time though, he only grinned.
"Showing your true colours, eh cat?"
I couldn't reason, couldn't think, could barely hear the shouts from the others, telling me to stop. All I knew was this wolf was a threat. Kill or be killed, that was the way I had been trained. Damon began to struggle, trying to snap at me, but I was bigger than he and had the advantage. I brought my jaws round his head, ready to pierce his skull, his brain, ready to finish it. Only that never happened. Instead I found myself pushed aside, wrenching my quarry from my fangs. I turned, ready to face whomever had shoved me, only to see Hefray and the other firesoul stood there, tails up. I hissed at them, tail lashing, eyes narrowed, signs of my irritation at being denied. As I paced, looking for a way to attack, my gaze fell upon Lee and the shocked expression on his face. In an instant my rage dissipates. I am lost, confused, frightened once more. I back away, as low to the ground as I can get, ears flat against my head.

I turn.

I run.

What was I supposed to do? She had become bloodthirsty and hateful, and to think she turned from her fragile persona so quickly into this quick-thinking killer? I was glad to see my associate, or as he had introduced himself to me this morning, Hefray, standing beside me. Clearly he understood my thoughts. I only wish I had seen that coming sooner. I took no pleasure in pulling the jaguar off of this cur, Damon. But allowing her to have her way was not something we could allow, as it might have had serious consequences. She paced. She hissed. I could tell from her stance that she knew how to fight. Of course, I should've guessed; I knew from the outset that there was more to her than I originally perceived.

I looked at the other one. He looked broken. As if his world had come toppling down on him. Poor guy. Perhaps he was sweet on this girl? Admittedly, she was a looker...

She had obviously seen me glare at her friend, which in turn made her look. And then she ran. Thank the maker. That girl was a fearsome whitesoul.

I did feel a little guilty for them both. From what I'd seen in my short time spent at this particular territory, Damon was a bully. Perhaps he naturally saw her as a target. Maybe I should've let her tear him in two. But she was not a monster, and neither was I, at least I hoped. Besides, Lex was the leader of this land. My previous stance of authority stood for nothing here, so it was best to respect her say in the matter.

I immediately forgot that wisdom as I heard a foul cackle escape his jowls.

I roared out at him, forcing his skull and ribs down into the dirt below with my front paws. As I recall, I don't remember ever growling so ferociously before. I yelled at him...

"Who do you think you are, you little bastard?! I should tear your heart out right now! How does that sound?!"

"Calm down, Talvi! Think about what you're doing! You of all walkers should know he's not worth the trouble!" It took me a while to register this voice, but as it clicked in my brain that Hefray was speaking to me, I immediately stepped back, though not before kicking Damon once in the gut. I took some deep breaths, and immediately, I regained my composure. Hefray had described it as a 'cold, trained expression'.

I heard growlings and voices from behind, but I didnt want to turn around. They would manage whatever they where up to. I sprinted after Chuck, jumped through the woods and got him in my view shortly before the forest ends. I jumped infront of him what made him stop, and switched to my human body, stepping more near to him.
Chuck please! Listen to me! He just wanted to keep going, but I jumped in his way again, layd my hands on his chest to block him.
Please Chucks I... he grabbed for his gun again. I layd my hand on his while he did, he was shaking.
No... keep it back. Chucks come on, you know me! I wouldnt ever hurt you.
So it´s true. Skinwalkers are no childstory... it´s true!
Yes it is. B but just part of it! We are no killers! Some of us live as humans between you, like me or Damon!
What? Damon is one too?! Who was it? T...the grey one? Or the white? Or the cat... oh man listen to me!
No he is the big brown one. I...
But you... you are the black one then and why... you wanted to kill him! I saw it! Dont say you are not a killer! I saw you chasing him over the marketplace!
Thats more complicated than you might think Chuck. Damon is... a troublemaker. I just...
But you cant live unseen?! Someone must have seen you before!
Yeah there where some before, maybe one or two in a year.
What happens to them?
Well you must understand we have to keep our secret... noone should know about it so they dont talk to others about it and people start hunting for us...
Lex! What happened to them?
We had to kill them.
Oh... Oh!
B... but I wouldnt ever kill you, not even hurt you!
I think you cant decide that between so many of you who may be out there!
I can! I am their leader, I can make an exception!
Their... wait. Thats why I found you wounded so often. Thats where your scars are from and the shoot wound... the hunter didnt hit a wolf, he hit you! He told me about some wolves in the forest...
Thats a risk we have to deal with. We have our traditions, it was a hunt... Chuck please. You may NEVER tell it anyone! You cant even think of the consequences that could show up!
Yah... what is it about Damon? Why did you handle him so badly? You know each other nearly as good as we do! Would you do that to me too?
No Chuck as said its... complicated. Listen, over there is my house, lets go inside and talk there so we have no... unwanted listener.
I stepped backwards moving to my house, Chuck stood on his spot still.
Come on. Trust me.
He needed a few seconds, then slowly moved after me. When we where inside I sat down on the bed, he did too but with a bit more distance than usual.
It´s a lot about these. I showed him my necklace that I pulled up my shirt.
Everyone of us has one, with a colour showing your soulelement. I have red, that means fire. It´s rare and till this month, only me and Damon where firesouls. If you are born as a firesoul, you are a leader. And you inner nature will make you become one, no matter what. Instinct thing... Well Damon was jealous all the time. We even fought once... well twice... for the leadership. The first one I won, and I was the leader for years. You remember the day maybe... I shoved over my arms which where full of scars. On that day Chuck had found me and took care of my wounds as he often had done. It was a myth why he always had shown up after I had a bad fight. Maybe some kind of instinct too...
Then two new ones shown up, you saw them moments ago I guess. Damon used his chance and attacked me. I wanted to make him leave, then he showed up again, I turned angry and hunted him. Then I gave him a second chance and then... you showed up.
Thats where the wounds came from. So Damon hurt you like that? If he is so much for leading, he is a danger! And... to me too.
Forget about him, he is wounded and wont be able to be any harm for a while. *sigh* You want to hear more? Or do you want to leave even now? He looked a bit through the room like he was thinking about stuff that happened. Then he sat more next to me, nodded.
Tell me what its all about.
And so I did... all day. Till the night.

I turned around and followed Eiri. Why the hell did I was surprised? I knew that there was more then she was showing...she's a windsoul...stupid me I felt guilty. If I wasn't showing my surprise, she wouldn't had run away. I ran as fast as I could, but Eiri was faster. She got out of my view between some trees. I stopped, sniffing in the air to catch her track. I followed her smell, which led me to a huge tree.
"Eiri?" I heard a rustle, but I couldn't see her. "Eiri, I'm really really sorry. I was just...surprised." I was looking for the right words. "You know, I don't think that you are a bad person. And I'm not disappointed from you. You're a windsoul, this is just what you are. The warrior was laying deep inside you all the time right?" I listened for her answer, but there was nothing. A leaf had fallen to the floor. "I'm proud of you. Did anybody said that to you? I'm really proud of you. You fighted for yourself...and for me. You are a brave windsoul and anybody calling you fearful is just stupid. I'm sorry. You just want you to know, that I still like you. I know you might be afraid that I hate you now, but I want turn away from you. Did you get it? I wont leave you alone." I nearly screamed the last words. I really wanted her to understand me. I sighed. "I got something for you." I changed my form and fished a small casket out my pocket.
"A jeweler made that. I told him to. Remember me being in the city in the morning?" I opened the casket and looked at the finely bracelet. It was made of silver. Two small paws, made from opalith, included a small catshaped cage. In the cage was the fragment of the necklace of my mother. I closed the casket again and layd it down on the ground. "Eiri..." I waited for her, seconds, minutes, the time flowed, but she didn't answer nor did she came down the tree. I turned around. "I'm always there if you want to talk. You know where to find me."

---

I went through the forest, making my way back to the city. Man, that felt like a rebuff... I left the forest, still in my human form, and passed the village. I met Hefray. He told me, that everything was fine with Damon and asked me about Eiri. I just shaked my head, said goodbye to him and went on. I didn't want to talk about this. I reached the city and walked through the streets. I had a goal. A home.
I entered the store of a broker. The young woman immediately came over to me. "Hello, how can I help you." "I'm looking for a house. Near the forest thats behind the village." "Ah, good choice. There are still some real estates left. I can show you..." "I'll take the one which is most distant to the village." She nodded and pulled out a folder. She showed me picture of the house. "You can reach the house via a forest road. So it's still in the civilization a bit. It's full furnished. A bathroom, a kitchen, a bedroom, a studyroom and a living room. Though it's small but it has  much charming. If you like we can make a visitation..." "I'll take it." The woman was baffled. I pulled out my credit card and handed it over to her. "That'll be enough." I stilled had the inheritance of my parents. I wasn't rich, but I didn't had concerns. She gave me the purchase agreement and a address. I said goodbye and left the store.

---

I got back to the village and packed up my belongings at the Bed & Breakfast. I thanked the owner, paid her and gave her a note with my new address. "Could you please give that to my friend?" She nodded.
I went to the forest, following the forest road, till I found stony path. It leaded to small house. It really wasn't as far from the village as I thought, but it was perfect. A small garden was around it and a veranda leaded to the entrance. I opened the door and entered my new home. I examined the rooms. They were average, just as I thought they would be. I stepped into the bathroom. This one wasn't average at all. It was quiet big, with a tube and a shower. I layed down some towels next to the tube and turned on the water. While the tube ran fully, I got up the stairs to the second floor. It was only one room on this floor. The bedroom. A large bed stood in the middle. On one wand were wardrobes, on another were windows and a glassdoor. I opened the door and stepped out on the balcony. I inhalated the fresh forest air. This was perfect.
I put away my clothes in one wardrobe and layd down Eiris, the clothes I bought in the morning, on a small desk next to the bed. I went back to the bathroom, taking a long refreshing and relaxing bath. I dried off my body, wrapping a towel around my hips and went to the kitchen. I'm hungry... I opened the fridge, but it was nothing inside. Of course not. I planned to go shopping, before getting up the stairs and laying down on my bed. I dozed.

I couldn't answer him. I just couldn't. He thought I was brave, a warrior, but all I'm doing is running, from my past and the reality of what I am. I could hear Lee talking below me, trying to get me to emerge, but I just didn't think I could face him. I hadn't killed Damon, or even hurt him more than a few bruises and scratches, but what was to stop me from snapping at someone else? I wasn't able to control myself, to undo the years of torment, training and death I'd experienced in... that place. I curled my knees up to my chest, resting my forehead on my legs. I was too numb, too broken, to even cry. I just sat there, for what felt like an eternity. It was only now I realised, Lee was gone. I couldn't hear his breathing anymore, or the slight rustling of the forest floor beneath his feet. I look over the edge of the branch. Sure enough, he is gone. Just as I was about to resume my moping in the tree, something caught my eye.
A box?
Despite my feelings, curiosity overtakes me - well, they do say curiosity killed the cat - and I clamber down the tree. Delicately, as though afraid it may shatter in my hands, I lift the small jewelry box from the ground. I turn it slowly in my hands, inspecting it, until it unexpectedly clicks open, revealing the bracelet. I cannot help the small gasp of surprise that escapes my lips. It is such a beautiful, elegant item, I worry I may break it just by holding it. As gently as I can, I remove the bracelet from the box and place it around my wrist. As I look at the jewelry, I think of how Lee made an effort to befriend me, to protect me, yet all I did was run from him, and the tears begin to flow.

~~~~

By the time I reach the Bed and Breakfast, I am out of breath, having run the whole way. Just as I reach for the door handle, I hesitate, having to take a deep breath before I can calm myself enough to open the door. Once inside, I approach the woman behind the counter, though I am not able to meet her gaze. However, before I can say anything she raises a hand to stop me, then hands me a note. There is an address written on the paper. I look up, to see the woman smiling gently at me.
"You better find him dearie."
I nod, bow slightly to show my thanks, then turn and run from the building.

~~~~

I've finally found it.
After hours of searching, I finally found the address Lee had written on his short note to me. A small, cute house, with a little garden round it. I wonder for a moment if he has just acquired it, bought it perhaps? I stride purposefully towards the house, running over what I plan to say in my head. But as I get closer, my steps begin to slow, I begin to doubt.
What if I'm intruding, or he doesn't believe my story?
I stop. Turn on the spot. Walk a few paces away. Turn. Walk back. I do this a few times, trying to find the courage to actually go up and knock on the door. Finally, I sprint up to the door and knock a few times, my hand gripping my necklace tightly. There is no answer for a while and the urge to flee returns. He may not be here. Just when I can't take it anymore, the door opens and he stands there, looking at me. My knees almost buckle beneath me, but I stay on my feet, though I am shaking. Words begin to tumble out of my mouth and once they start I cannot stop.
"Lee I'm so sorry I just didn't know how to talk to you. After you told me about what happened to your family I just couldn't face the idea of telling you about my past, about why I'm so scared, why I attacked Damon, why I can't seem to control myself. These scars.."
I touch the ones on my face,
"... they're all from my past. I was careless. I was hunted, caught by humans while I was an animal. They caged me, beat me, made me hateful and angry. My 'masters' carved a mark onto my back, to show I belonged to them, that's what the X is, a brand. They trained me, made me fight, made me kill. I killed so many. I was strong, bloodthirsty, exactly what they wanted. For so long I was a monster, I couldn't control myself, once I was in the ring, I was just so... so angry. No better than a rabid dog. When I was left in my cage after the fights, I had time to think and I hated what I had become, I wanted to stop, but when I tried they would hurt me, until I was angry enough to fight again. There was a fire one day, I used it to escape, but even now it haunts me. When I feel the rage now, I can't help but attack people, like I did to Damon, that's why I'm so scared. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to go back...
My words trail off and I look at the ground, my whole body shaking as I begin to cry again. I can't make the tears stop and I am unable to look back at Lee; I'm scared of what his face is showing, I don't want him to hate me.

And thus, for me, at least, the remainder of the day was quiet. Lex had gone after that human, the jaguar-girl (the name of which I was still yet to find out) had disappeared, being followed by the other 'nameless' wolf; his affection for her seemed to be growing by the second. I chuckled at the thought; not too long ago, I was a love-struck young fledgling as well, chasing the tail of my own love interest. Though I was still relatively young, I felt old, withered and scarred in comparison to back then. Such was the price of war.

Hefray had taken his leave to meet up with the white wolf, whom he identified as 'Lee'. After he said his farewells, I was alone. Again.

Having had such an eventful string of days, the thought of solitude disappointed me. Regardless, there was nothing I could do. So I sullenly trundled back to the village.

The walk back to the hotel was relatively peaceful. The birds sang, perched among the leaves of the oak trees that guided me out of the forest and back to the village. I headed back through the market, and though I received some curious looks from the townsfolk, it appeared that they were not too shaken by the appearance of a wolf. One thing I had learnt about humankind, however, is that you could never truly know what they were thinking...

After I had returned to the hotel (to find Hefray was still absent), I pondered my next moves in this territory carefully. The fears that I harboured were eating at my courage, and thus was turning me away from the idea of joining this 'pack'. But if I left, would I ever find another place like this? As far as I was concerned, the mountains to the north were my last hope, and the chances of finding a clan that would accept a wanderer like myself were slim at best. So I decided to risk it. I would try to integrate into this society. And to do that, I needed to make an effort to socialise. My first port of call, was to apologise to the jaguar-girl and her wolf friend for my earlier aggression.

I ventured outside again, just scouting the village for a while, trying to collect their scents (which was odd for me in human form). It was hard, with the townsfolk bumbling around the place, but eventually, the wind caught my nose and there it was. The scent of the white wolf.

I followed the path, through the forestry again until it led me to a quaint, rural house. I approached slowly, before realising the door was already open. And there was a person standing in the doorway...

The jaguar-girl.

As our gazes met, she froze, albeit trembling. I halted my approach, but she started to back away from me, stepping into the house slowly, though I noticed her stop. I gazed through the gap in the doorway to see the white wolf standing there, and from the looks of it... she seemed like she didn't know who to turn to. I attracted a very confused look from the white wolf, so I threw my hands up in surrender. "Wait, wait! Don't be alarmed, it's me! Look!"

I showed them both the 'necklace' hidden under my collar. I was sure that they would recognise it's distinctly celtic look. They paused, both unsure of what to make of my presence. I blurted out as many words as I could think of to prove my innocence, which admittedly was a rare lapse in composure for me. "Hey, I'm not here to start a fight, I swear! I've come to seek your forgiveness... for my aggressive behaviour..."

I held my breath, awaiting a reply.

So. Thats it... what do you say?
Thats a lot to digest now.
I know. Im sorr but I couldnt tell you before! ... We still friends?
Chuck looked up, stared a while at me. I feared he would say no, but then he shoved more near, grabbed my cheeks and looked deep into my eyes.
How couldnt we? I always knew something was going there outside in the forest, just never thought of old child storys to be true. And besides, I cant just make my heart feel different about you after so many years. I opened my mouth to ask something, but nothing came out of me, no matter what.
I love you Alexa. Dont tell me you didnt ever notice?
W...well I thought of it but... you know. Me... the freak. And you? That seemed, I dont know... strange?
It´s not he said with a soft voice before pulling me more close and kissing me. For a few moments, everything was gone. Every thought of the Walkers, every fear I had about Chuck leaving me as only friend behind. I never believed this could ever happen. When he broke it up, he smiled gently as I just had to smile back.
It´s morning again... did you talk that long?!
Hey, Im a leader. If I learned anything more than other stuff, then it´s talking! But reminds me, I should do a territory check up. Walking the borders.
You mean this days you are gone the whole time, telling me you are just on a walk to enjoy the nature and are not back before 2 days?
Exactly.
We grabbed our stuff back, and then moved outside. He would need to go to the city, I was going to go into the forest. When I closed my door, he grabbed my waist and pulled me near again, giving me a kiss.
Be back soon. And watch yourself okay?
You too. Now you carry our secret, you must watch your words very well. We hardly split up. Then I walked into the forest and when being out of humans view, I switched the body, running happily and fast through the woods. On my way I passed my clan buddys who just came back. They lived in the city usually and werent often in the forests.
"Lex! Hei there, what did we miss while we where gone? Where are you going?"
You missed a looot. But anyway, ask Hefray about it when he showes up. Im going on a border patrol so I wont come back so soon. While Im gone you take the command!
I just turned around and ran. It felt so good on that sunny day to just run free, having Chucks face in my head.
When I had run some time, I passed a little house, where the firesoul just came out and switched to wolf form. He seemed rather confused seeing me here, but I was so over happy that day I just yelled over to him.
Hei there! Im going on border patrol! Will take a while but I guess you have nothing to do? Wanna join? You could learn something!
While he seemed to be thinking of what the border patrol was meant to be, I just kept going. When I heard his steps then coming to me, I speed up again to have a comfortable run.
It was visible I grew up here, I knew every stick and stone and jumped through the woods like a feather, nearly never touching the ground fully.

I sighed, looking to Eiri, then back to the firesoul. I don't wanted him to be so near to her. I sighed again." I guess you can come in then." Eiri stepped into the house and went through the living room. The new one wanted to follow her, but I stopped him, pulling him nearer to my face. I don't like to share, you know? Got it? *voice oozing of machismo* He nodded as a voice interrupted us. "Lee, what are you doing with that kid?" I immediately turned around to the new voice, just now realising the familiar smell. "Whats up with you? Don't rune his cute face." I sighed, then growled. The day just can't get better... "Melissa?!" "It was quiet hard to find you. Did you miss me?" I looked to the woman, now standig next to the house. Melissa was tall, just a bit smalled then me. She was a watersoul, wearing a blue drop as her necklace. Her hair was blond, long enough to cover her butt, with even brighter strands. Melissas eyes were light blue. She was wearing a tank top and a short jeans, highlighting her very feminine figure. "Not at all..."
Eiri came out the house again to see what was going on. She saw the woman and looked surprised. "Oh come on, be fair" I grinned and then hugged eachother. I turned around to the others again, seeing them being even more confused. "That's Melissa, she's a watersoul and ... my friend. We are friends for years now, but she doesn't belong to my old pack. She's a stray. We went hunting together and helped eachother." We really helped eachother. I rescued her from some beaters, she helped me to get lose of woman, who wanted to kill me. Also we helped eachother when we got lonely, giving eachother what we needed, without being more then friends.
"Are you feeling alone again,Lee?" She smiled lustful. I shaked my head. " To bad, because I do so." "Eiri, this is Melissa." They shakedhands. " Lee, she's really cute. Seems like you got a taste for woman now." I growled, but Melissa just grinned. "And this little guy here is a firesoul, eh?" The new one nodded. "Ok, Lee, we've got a lot to talk about I think." She turned to the entrance, pulling Eiri and the new one with her.  I sighed."Hey come in, be my guests" I said with a lot of sarcasm, closing the door behind me. We set down in the kitchen.
Melissa told us how she was living in the wilds, how she had lost her job as a professor at university and  how she started to find me, till she finally got here. I told her about how I got here and everything that had already happened. I smiled over to Eiri, giving her a fast kiss on her cheek. " Lee, I'm feeling dirty. Can I use your bathroom?"" Do what you want" I said, still focusing Eiri, as a top flied across or heads, landing directly on the new ones face. " Cover yourself, Melissa" I said by pulling away tne shirt from the firesouls head and throwing it back to Melissa. Eiri was shocked. The firesoul jumped up his chair and ran to the door, still blushing and left the house. Melissa laughed, heading over to the bathroom. "I'm sorry" I said to Eiri, who supressed to laugh. "She's a bit...extroverted, but believe me, she's really smart. And she normally gets what she wants. " I smiled to Eiri, pulling her nearer and kissed her. I noticed the bracelet. " Do you like it? I also bought some clothes for you. They're in the bedroom upstairs"

I wasn't sure what to make of this new watersoul. She was so... boisterous. As Lee pulled me to him and kissed me, I nestled into his chest, a contented smile on my face. My gaze was drawn to the bracelet as he gestured to it,
"Do you like it? I also bought some clothes for you. They're in the bedroom upstairs."
I nodded, gently caressing the bracelet with my fingers. I really did like it, it was just so pretty.
"Yes.. thank you so much. I'm.. uhm... I'm sorry again, for earlier.."
I lightly run my thumb over Lee's cheek, looking into his eyes. I hold his cheek in the palm of my hand, but before I can gather the nerve to return his kiss I hear movement from the bathroom and suddenly look away, a blush creeping onto my face.
"I'll go see the clothes now, thank you for buying me some."
I rise quickly, smiling to him before hurrying off up the stairs, just as Melissa emerges from the bathroom.

As I wandered upstairs, I found myself thinking about Melissa; how much more outgoing she was, how she didn't have to hide scars and how easily she carried herself. I sighed, feeling self-conscious and rubbed my arms lightly with my hands. I was glad that Lee didn't seem to acting any differently towards me though, in fact I was surprised he hadn't questioned me more about my past or Damon, but I figured it was because other people were around. At the top of the stairs I could see one of the doors was ajar and peered round, finding it to be the bedroom. I spied a set of clothes, neatly folded upon a desk beside the bed and approached them, touching the fabric with my fingertips. I looked round myself, checking no-one was watching - an old habit of mine - before removing my clothes. There is a half-length mirror over the other side of the room and I catch sight of my reflection within it.
My skin is so disfigured...
Turning sharply from the mirror I quickly change into the new clothes... and instantly freeze when I realise the problem. There are no sleeves. My arms are on show, my horrible, ruined arms. The clothes are wonderful, they fit my figure perfectly, but the idea of people being able to see my arms all the time makes me panic. I can barely catch my breath, my heart races, eyes dilating. I throw on the jacket I had been wearing previously, covering my arms once more and allowing me to breathe again. I shake my head, angry at myself for the reaction, though at least I'm able to appreciate the clothing in the mirror now. The top, almost the same shade of blue as my eyes, shows off my curves nicely, more so than my old shirt for sure. The jeans, a light grey, hug my legs, before flaring slightly at the ankle. Once I've viewed myself in the mirror for long enough, I sit at the end of the bed, listening to the muffled sounds of conversation from the room below me. It would be rude of me not to go back downstairs, but I feel I need a few moments to compose myself again.
Get a grip Eirian.
Taking a deep breath, I stand up, stride from the room and head down the stairs, only to stop just before the kitchen. I don't know if I can talk to her. I turn and walk to a window near the front door instead, looking outside at the forest.

That was odd.

I had always thought of myself as accepting beyond measure. I had never, ever had issues with things like that previously. Not once. But I guess it got a bit too much for me in there. Any longer and I probably would've had another of my 'stress-induced' nosebleeds. For the brief moment I stood outside the quaint hamlet I had just moments before been inside, I reflected on what I'd just seen and heard. I had their names logged in my mind now, at least. Lee... Eiri... and Melissa, the new face. And boy, was she outgoing...

Still, I couldn't help but chuckle. These folk seemed like nice people. Lee's initial reaction to my presence caught me by surprise, but then he was clearly infatuated with Eiri, so I couldn't blame him. Still, to acknowledge me as competition? How sweet. Nonetheless, I was a little dejected. I had come to apologise, and I had failed to do so in a proper way. Nor had I introduced myself to them. Perhaps it was for the best, though. The less they knew about me, the better. I wasn't exactly prepared to reveal my life story to them just yet.

I saw Lex walk past the house. She shouted to me, and then darted off to the woods. I didn't quite catch what she said properly, but I heard her mention some sort of patrol, so I followed. Lex had been accepting of me from the start, so perhaps it was time to show some self-application to her pack's cause.

She had slowed momentarily to allow me to catch up, and then she bounded through the brush elegantly and with unwavering speed. It was almost like she was dancing through the forest. I couldn't match her speed, or else I'd lose my footing. So in the end, I just shadowed her movements. In a way, it was therapeutic, as it took my mind off of pressing matters. All I could focus on was Lex, and her graceful leaping.

I had almost forgot. Last time I saw Lex, she chased down that human, Chuck if I was correct?

"Lex! How did it go with the human? Are you alright?"

You mean Chuck? I yapped between some rough breathing though I was running for so long already.
It´s all good, as good as it could be! So!
I slowed down a bit so he could reach me again, then went into a slow walk. We both hackled, he did less than me who ran through the forest before meeting him.
Kay, listen up Talvi. We will do a borderpatrol now. Normally I do it on my own or with my pack, but I guess though you are still new and it dont seems like you have found your place yet, you can maybe need some time to clean your mind. After all, what decides most for us, are the instincts. You just need to follow them. Border patrol : We will walk through half of the country. That means we wont be back before 2 days. Such a long walk, but very relaxing. I hope you wont be one of the annoying kinds? Anyway, the task is to check the forest borders. Walkers who are new, have to meet up with me at least once. I want to see every new face. Maybe some didnt find their way clearly, its rare but it happens. I dont like total strangers within my lands! Also we will visit some older walkers who nearly never visit the meetings. The way is too long for them, they need help. They usually live with younger ones, but they are busy with caring for them, so they wont find the time to meet me or the others. So I do check on them myself. I will also use a night stop in a city which is at the other side of the forest. I rarely get there, they have some beautiful stuff. I will buy a few things there and let some send back to me at home. We will take rooms in the hotel there for the night. When we come back, there will be an other one of the big skinwalker meetings. Not the one that makes skinwalkers from outside come here, but still important to do more check ups. So. Everything is said... lets go! And so I began running again.
I felt like I could run for days, while we travelled the borders and at night, we reached the city I talked of. It wasnt that big, but had some pretty shopping stuffs. There was a market on that evening, so the stores where still open.
Okay, you can go on now and look around. Im going to buy some stuff. You can take a room in the hotel in the city, there is only one. We will meet tomorrow morning!
So I just left him, switched to human and walked right between the mass of people on the market. The scent of sweet sugar stuff and some other tasty things went into my nose, I had to work hard to not start drooling. Then I went on and at later night, took myself a room in the hotel. I had a bag with, other stuff I bought I gave away to send it to me at my house.
I sat down on the bed in the hotel room and opened the bag. Some stuff I often wanted to buy, but never gave it much interest. Till Chuck yesterday, so I decided to fresh myself up a bit. I had let myself go off to much, I looked kinda wild living though I lived part as human... so why not?
I took a shower and started on, made some colourful dreads between my natural ones, tied them up nicely. I took the piercing ring I bought and putted it back into the middle of my underlip in the hole that was left after I had taken it out a year ago. Also I had new clothes, not ripped like the others. A new cargo to put my stuff in, a new top and a new pullover which I just bent around my waist.
Through shower and having the new stuff on, my scars where even more visible to see, my ripped arms and even part of my back scars, together with the tattoo in my neck. But since a long time, I felt proud of it again. Damon was an asshole, but in point he was right. I had my reasons to be proud of them. I felt good now, and was all about Chuck in my mind. While I was totally not in the presence in mind, I didnt notice what time of year it was. It was something, no wolf lady came through without being noticed. An instinct point, many of us wanted to get rid off, but it was now part of us as skinwalkers. It was mating season. And I was in heat now too. I just took my stuff, putted a small gift necklace for Chuck into my trouser bags and went to sleep. On the next morning I stepped down happily, went outside and greeted the sunny day. Then I saw Talvi, went to him, tapped his shoulder and went to the forest. He followed me with a bit wondered view, I indeed looked different now. When we reached the forest, we switched bodyshape and went on, on the border walk.

(wanna see Lee or Melissa? I posted refs for them on my deviantart, but I'm not allowed to post links. My username ist Feya-san)

Melissa stepped into the kitchen, still drying her hair. "Hey, were did the cute guy go?" I sighed. "Melissa...why are you here?" "Because I missed you." I pulled up one eyebrow. "Ok ok, when I came back to where your pack was living and nobody was there, I got panic. You were my only anchor." "It's a cruel world out there. I'm not feeling good when you are going away again. I felt guilty to leave you alone, but my pack left and I had to go with them." She nodded. "I understand. It's no problem, 'cause I finally found you and that means: I'll stay here." I laughed out loud. "Lex will be enthusiastic." "Lex?" "She's the leader here and she wasn't happy as we showed up. And you...you're always trouble. Asspecially in mating season when you're feeling alone." We laughed both. "I'm glad you're back."
I heard steps on the stairs. "Melissa, I think you scared Eiri. Do you want to meet Hefray? He's in the village." "Oh yeah, maybe I'm not feeling alone then." She jumped up, running out the house.
I went up the stairs and fond Eiri in the bedroom.
"I'm sorry for her. But she's really ok if you get to know her. Of course it's better to have ten foes then her as a friend, 'cause she's the devil itself. But she's ok. I'm glad she's back, because I really missed her. I felt guilty for leaving her alone." I stepped over to the bed, where Eiri was already sitting. I looked into her eyes and gave her a kiss. "Now that we are alone, will you tell me more about your past?"

(Just had a look, very nice :)I'll be uploading a character sheet for Eirian soon, my DA name is Tsukikoko ^.^)

As I sat upon Lee's bed I heard the door open and close again, I assumed it to be Melissa leaving. Sure enough, Lee soon entered the bedroom, alone. As he asks about my past I look away, choosing to first talk about his old friend,
"I don't really mind her, honest, I just.... It's hard. You're.. well, the exception. I can talk to you... usually."
I take a deep breath, looking down at my hands. I know I blurted out things about my past earlier, but now I had time to think about it, I wasn't sure how much I could tell him. I glance at him, catch his eye, then turn my gaze away again.
"Enough stalling huh? As I said before, I was captured, imprisoned and made to fight. Made to battle for the entertainment of humans. They didn't realise what I really was, they just thought I was a normal animal, I couldn't change back, couldn't risk them finding out. My 'masters' branded me. Cut a mark into my back... It proved I belonged to them. I didn't want to fight, but they would whip me, burn me, hit me, until I was so blinded by pain and rage I would kill anything put in the ring with me. The trained me. I was like some rabid dog."

I pause, pulling back the sleeve of the jacket I'm wearing until it reveals some of the scratch and burn scars.
"I have many reminders of that time... all over my body. I still get flashbacks.. Still feel the anger sometimes and... when I do, I can't control myself. I-I just.."
My voice cracks, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"I just try... try t-to kill... again. B-but, I d-don't want to hurt a-anyone.. I killed so many..."
I find I cannot longer speak, my words just catch in my throat. Suddenly, I feel a pair of arms round me as Lee pulls me to him, hugging me to his chest. A small squeak of surprise escapes me from him doing so.

(Those are pretty cool, Feya, nice work!)

Two days of border patrol, as mundane as it seemed, was the perfect medicine for my mind. I could just concentrate on the job at hand, and having company, particularly Lex, made it a lot more therapeutic for me.

The first day was relatively quiet during the patrol. I had remained relatively withdrawn and quiet, as usual, only speaking when Lex addressed me or asked me a question, which usually would result in me saying yes, no or thank you. I still wasn't ready to talk about myself, and at this point, there was no need. There would be no benefit to their understanding, in fact I believed it would leave me ostracised from the group should I mention it. So, shame made me swallow my words.

We reached the town, at the time Lex had predicted. In a way, I shouldn't have been surprised, really. She had already mentioned that she had done this particular patrol many times before. We split off from each other for the night, so I decided to search around the market a little. I found some nice clothing on sale, which reminded me of my current attire. It was time for a change of look, I thought, so I bought myself a black T-shirt and some new slacks to replace my tired, beat up old ones. The shirt showed off my arms a little more, which was nice; my body had toughened up quite a bit since my exile. It was funny how survivalism hones the body and mind. Also, a wolf needed to be presentable, right? ...

...Where did that thought come from?

Later that night, I found a hotel with a single room vacant. It was a well-kept room, small but cosy. I had another shower, this time a little colder than I usually would have had it, because for some reason, I felt warm. Hot, even. Flustered, uncomfortable, restless, and dare I say it, frisky... suddenly, it clicked in my mind.

"Damn it all, it's the season, isn't it?"

I had missed last season due to the incident, but I could remember how frustrating it was. Unfortunately, I was an animal. And animals ran on instinct.

I woke up the next morning with heavy breath. I had slept a little too well, yet I couldn't stop myself from, for lack of a better word, panting. I was panting. How embarrassing. I was still hot and bothered, and I had a feeling that this was going to last quite a while. Grumbling, I packed my things, paid for the room, and left for the outdoors once more.

Lex was waiting for me there, though I'd failed to notice her until she had tapped my shoulders. Distraction was a weird thing; it could really rob one of their senses. As I turned round, I noticed she too had bought herself a few things. Her appearance was different, but it looked nice. The scars that Damon had left were more visible, but I daren't make mention of it. We continued our journey, taking our wolven forms as we entered the forest once more.

Along the way, however, this feeling of 'intensity' started to get the better of me. I was sure that Lex had noticed my distress, too. We passed a small river, and I took an opportunity. "Do you mind if we stop here for a second? I need to cool off real quick..."

Though initially curious of my intent, Lex then nodded. I trundled down to the bank, sniffing at the water to check it was clean. Like most running water, it was. I lapped up some of the natural refreshment, and boy was that a godsend. Whilst my tongue was cool, however, my body was still sweltering with strange urges, so impulsively, I jumped into the river. I soaked myself thoroughly, the temperature sinking through my fur and soothing me from hide to bone. I looked up to Lex, smiling appreciatively. "Thanks, Lex. I needed that." It didn't occur to me until after, but that may have been the first time I had smiled in front of her.

(Wish I could draw my char too D: And Talvi, try to write a little more of what happens after my entry, not so much before. Just as tip )

Dont worry I said smiling back after taking a drink too. That was just needed. We will come back here when we visited the old ones a bit north from here, cause their region a bit behind the borders. I turned around and went into the direction, after an hour, we reached the small area within the forest. They all lived as animals, like a big family with all generations but there where only wolves. They kinda didnt get along with others. Pups ran into my direction when they saw me, the old ones lifted their heads and some came out of their dens. They didnt like the living as humans, nearly fully lived as wolves, including alphas, betas, omegas... but they accepted and respected me as upper leader when I came here and they knew the rules they where bent to.
Hei there little ones! We where greeted by nearly the whole pack, I had some talks with the older ones, listened to some stories and relaxed a bit. We spent nearly two hours at the little camp, Talvi nearly always silent, playing with pups sometimes. When I lifted myself up to have a last look around, the beta guy lifted himself up too and walked behind me. When I even thought of what he was up to, he already lifted himself up to move over my back. Within seconds I snapped around, bitten his face and growled him away. The older alpha went angrily after the beta for his uncontroled behavior. I shook my fur and pressed my chest out to look like a proud leader of the skinwalkers when the alpha came back. He excused his beta, wished some good walk and we where gone.
On the way back to the water, I noticed why the beta had done it, it was season again. I shook my fur once more, thinking of having a male with me for the coming days. My mind was blown clear again when I took some drinks from the water again. It felt so refreshing. When Talvi joined the drink, I just had to jump into the water. It felt so good though the sun was shining all day since we went off the hotel in the morning. I playd a bit with the upcoming waterdrips and then jumped over to Talvi, bowed down and waved with the tail to make him play too. I couldnt remember when I playd last time, but I wasnt really thinking in that moment at all. He accepted my invite and we sprinted through the water a bit, play fighting with each other. When I did a final sprint out of the water, Talvi catched up, I tripped and rolled a bit on the ground. When he stood near, I waved with my paws for his face, rolled over the floor a bit more to scratch the wet fur before laying still a while. I didnt notice much that I layd on my back, showing my throat, nearly joyfull unnoticed. I never did this since back then when playing with our old skinwalkers leader as a pup. The day just seemed to be funny, nice, warm and joyful. I wouldnt notice much on what was going on in Talvi who seemed a bit confused of me as a playful leader.

She squeaked as I pulled her nearer. I giggled. She was so cute. I fondled her arms, touching the scars and took off her jacket. "Don't be ashamed of your scars. Be proud of them. They show what hard time you had and what you had survived." Still tears were rolling down her face. I wiped them away. "You are no monster. You just did what you had to do to survive." She slowly calmed down and we were sitting like this for some time.
I kissed her cheek, her forehead and then really kissed her.  We were remaining in this position, both enjoying the kiss. I pushed her down on the bed, while still kissing her. I increased the pressure on her shoulders till we were laying on the bed. I leaned over her, still kissing her beautiful lips. A small moan slipped out of my mouth, as I moved up her shirt and felt her soft skin, as I nearly lost control. I jumped back and ran over to the window, starring out in the forest.
Eiri gasped. "I'm sorry...I..." I took a deep breath. "It's spring...mating season..." I clenched my fists to get control over me by hurting myself. "I don't think I can keep control over me tonight. I don't want to hurt you." I turned around. Her eyes were still shining. I again felt like losing control, my only feeling was to jump over to her and... I turned around again, watching the leaves in the moonlight.
"I'll sleep in the studyroom tonight. You can stay here. Please don't leave. I know, I frightened you, but please, don't leave me alone." My body was shaking, afraid of losing Eiri, just because I wasn't able to keep control over myself. "Good night." I stepped out the door, leaving Eiri in the bedroom and hurried down the stairs, before I could change my mind.
I fell down on the couch in the studyroom, hating myself for what just happened. I nearly descended over her. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my mind. I still saw her body before my eyes, still feeling her skin under my fingers.  I took a deep  breath again and listened to footsteps from the room upstairs. She'll definitely leave...Why did I harried her? This wasn't my first season, but normally Melissa was there or I just ran through the forest till I break down. I was just controlled by instincts, nothing more like a wild animal, looking for a mate.